First dates can be tough: you need to make sure the conversation flows, be polite to the restaurant staff and try not to get drunk. But Liam Smith has probably one of the most outrageous date stories to make your horror encounter seem not so bad.
After taking his Tinder date to Nandos for dinner, the pair went back to his for some 'Louis Theroux and chill'. However, things went terribly wrong for the woman after she went to the bathroom and found out the toilet wouldn't flush. In a panic, she wrapped up her shit and threw it out the window.
He was surprisingly cool about the whole affair and told her they'd go out and pop the turd in the bin so that no one gets a nasty surprise in the morning. Although Liam quickly remembered that the window to the bathroom isn't an ordinary window.
He says: "Owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo."
Credit: Liam Smith
Feeling even more embarrassed, the woman decided to reach into the void to fish out the excrement so it didn't forever sit in between window panes. Luckily, she is incredibly flexible from her days as a gymnast, however unluckily even those talents couldn't save her from getting stuck.
Liam says: "She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came. She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled.
"But she was stuck. Stuck fast. Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window. She was stuck fast, upside down in the gap."
Credit: Liam Smith
The poor woman was wedged in that tiny spot for a quarter of an hour before Liam gave up trying everything imaginable and called the fire brigade. They promptly arrived and had to break the window in order to rescue her from her uncomfortable predicament.
Liam is now facing a bill of at least £300 ($390) to get it fixed and has started a GoFundMe page to help him pay off the debt. As a postgraduate student, he says the bill would be his entire monthly budget, and he's hoping that people might chip in, considering it's an incredible story.
In just four short hours, he's raised nearly double his intended goal of £200 ($260) and insists any excess cash will be divided up between two charities, Toilet Twinning and Firefighters Charity.
We're desperate to know whether he got a second date.
Featured Image Credit: Liam Smith