This is not a drill. This world is now home to a giant pig in blanket, and it's all we want for Christmas. Seriously, forget the whisky, watches, cash and socks (please forget the socks), just get us this.
It may be a bit contentious to say that pigs in blankets are king of the Christmas dinner plate - but we're gonna call it. It's a tough one, what with crispy roast spuds, mounds of turkey, stuffing balls and pools of meaty gravy all vying for top dog, but when you wrap sausage in bacon, it's a double whammy that knocks things out of the park. Pig on pig.
Well, now pig on pig has gone big. With 16m (52ft) of streaky pancetta bacon rashers (that's three times the height of the average house in the UK, just to put things into context) this 10kg (22lb) beast also boasts 45 linked, gluten-free pork sausages, which come sandwiched together by two Cumberland rings.
Credit: Food Network
You can buy one for yourself from East London's Appetite Butchery, from now up until 15th December. At £140 ($190) it may seem expensive, but it does feed an impressive 24 people - plus you can't really attach a cost to dreams coming true, can you? You can also get smaller sizes if you're a bit of a tight bastard, though, with a 6-portion 3kg (6.6lb) pig in blanket costing £40 ($54) or a 12-portion 6kg (13lb) one for £80 ($108).
Or, of course, you can get creative yourself. After research by Food Network revealed that one in five Brits agree with us and believe pigs in blankets to be the best of the Christmas dinner - one in four also said Christmas would be ruined without them, and we can relate - the channel has also had a stab at one, in celebration of its Christmas programming.
Phillip Luff, Managing Director, UK & EMEA, Scripps Networks Interactive said: "The schedule of programmes on Food Network this Christmas contains everything you need to know about how to put on a perfect Christmas feast.
"We wanted to show some love to one of the nation's favourite Christmas foods in a way that reflected the fun shown in all of the programmes airing this December."
Credit: Food Network
It's an absolute beauty, and straight up proof that this Christmas will definitely be the best one yet. Just imagine the Boxing Day sarnies if there's leftovers - not that there's any chance of those, of course.
Featured Image Credit: Food Network