You're Probably Ruining Your Cheese Board Without Knowing It

If there's one reason that you've put on so much weight over the festive period, it's probably because of the humble cheese board.

But now experts at the Good Housekeeping Institute are saying most of us might as well bin our Brie because we're cutting it all wrong. WRONG. Wrong.

Sure, you might say: 'How can I be cutting my cheese wrong if it eventually ends up in my mouth?' But according to their cheese connoisseurs, there's an optimal way to cut each type of cheese to give guests (or yourself) the best board experience.

Credit: PA

"An oozing brie, veiny blue and tangy cheddar cheeseboard is the perfect way to round off a festive feast. But rather than cutting into the cheese at any angle, there's a trick to getting the best from your cheese," reads the GHI's advice.

"According to connoisseurs, there's an art to cutting cheese. Shape, size and even texture play a part in how each variation should be sliced."

According to the advice, hard rectangular cheeses like cheddar and Red Leicester should be cut horizontally through the middle into rectangular chunks or tidy cubes for cocktail sticks. Seems legit.

Rounder cheeses like brie and camembert should be cut into quarters, then into smaller halves like a gooey pie. This is to make sure that each bite contains some of the riper centre - unless you want it for yourself, of course.

"Long, uneven slices will not do this delicate cheese justice," the advice states. "To achieve equal portions, begin by quartering the cheese, then continue to cut each piece in half, to ensure each guest gets a taste of the meltingly-ripe, gooey center."

The same applies for waxed cheeses that comes in a truckle like Wensleydale. It doesn't matter whether you have the wax on or off.

Credit: PA

For awkwardly shaped cheeses like Cerney Ash, you should cut from the centre outwards in diagonal cuts so everyone can get a bit of rind with their cheese.

Finally, triangle shaped cheeses like Stilton can be a bit tricky. The GHI recommends that you cut off the very end then cut it into long slices. You can always sneakily scoff the end before anyone else sees.

All that seems like sound advice. Of course, if you're an absolute deviant who doesn't care, you could just gorge the entire lot without caring.

The only problem you might have now is not having any cheese left from scoffing it all on your first day off. If you do, we admire your discipline.

Featured Image Credit: PA

Chris Ogden

Chris Ogden is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from the University of East Anglia with degrees in English Literature and Creative Writing before completing his NCTJ Diploma in Multimedia Journalism. Chris has previously written for the independent culture magazine The Skinny, among other publications.

Next Up

arrow-down arrow-left arrow-right arrow-up camera clock close comment cursor email facebook-messenger facebook Instagram link new-window phone play share snapchat submit twitter vine whatsapp logoInline safari-pinned-tab Created by potrace 1.11, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2013