As you've perhaps noticed, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go.
Of course, it's been slowly beginning to look a lot like Christmas for about two months, and we've still got another week to get through before it will actually look a lot like Christmas, largely on account of it being Christmas eve one week today.
Advert
Before that, however, many of us have to navigate one more tedious week of work before we can sit in our pyjamas drinking fizzy wine until it is literally next year.
With that in mind, here is a handy (not handy at all) guide to how you can wear away those tedious seconds until the festive frolics can begin.
I'd like to point out ahead of time that none of these helpful time-wasting techniques should be employed by anyone who works as a doctor, surgeon, fireman - you get the picture - if you've got a proper job, you're better off still doing that, please.
Let's start with online shopping.
That's an obvious one for anyone who works tethered to a computer with access to the internet.
In fact, in the time it has taken me to write this article, I've already purchased a record, three books, festive beard ornaments for a beard I haven't and can't grow, and some edible chocolate arseholes (yes, that's a thing)
You're doing a public good, too. Several online retailers have admitted recently that their sales are down. Christmas is about helping those less fortunate than yourself, after all.
Whilst ASOS probably isn't exactly covered by that statement, you get the idea.
Hey, that reminds me. You could always do something actually nice for someone else. Offer to make a brew for everyone in your office.
The average kettle boils water in around two minutes and eighteen seconds. That means that you are only 1043 kettle boils away from sipping a warm glass of mulled wine with your beloved family.
Of course, your colleagues are going to have to have mouths made of asbestos and a voracious appetite for hot beverages to get through that at the rate you'll be bringing them tea and coffee, but you can only try.
Book a holiday, perhaps?
Sure, Christmas is fun and everything, but January is going to be bleak and cold. Wouldn't you like to have something else to look forward to? A lovely trip away could be the perfect thing to break you out of those winter blues.
Outside of those ingenious tactics, you could always just waste time in the tried and tested ways that you do all year round.
Advert
Fall into a Wikipedia wormhole, scroll endlessly through Twitter, take a shit on company time - all solid gold classics of the genre.
Failing that - and here's a sad thought - you could do some fucking work you lazy bastards.
Featured Image Credit: SWNSTopics: Work, Christmas, Funny