Fifty-eight-year old painter and decorator Paul Allen from North Shields, North Tyneside has only two places free from tattoos - the soles of his feet and the skin between his fingers.
And they might not be free for long. Paul has spent £15,000 on tattoos in the last nine years and he's planning more. He's rumoured to be one of the most tattooed man in the UK - but he's relatively new to being tattooed.
"I was a late starter," he told Chronicle Live. "I was 49 when I got my first tattoo in April 2008, only a couple of weeks after my mum died. I got simple Chinese writing on my upper arm of mine and my niece's and nephew's names."
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Since then, he has spent over 1,000 hours being tattooed. 200 bottles of ink have been used on his skin and he has 810 tattoos with 496 designs and 314 names.
Credit: Trinity Mirror
"I then got the bug and then it just started. I have visited 25 studios, mainly in the North East, but I've had tattoos done in Doncaster, Hastings and when on holiday in Cyprus, Corfu and Crete," explained Paul, who gets inspiration from random places.
He also gets names of random women tattooed on his body.
"The names started when I was in a tattoo studio and a hen party came in. One of the girls got a tattoo of her name, Xanthe, and that got me thinking I should get all girl's names starting with every letter of the alphabet. And I chose Xanthe to start off with as I knew that would be a difficult one to find.
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"I've got names of friends and places and people who I randomly meet in a pub. I always get them tattooed in their own handwriting and I never get them tattooed over, they're always there to stay," he explained. Interesting.
Paul is currently single, but his tattoos aren't putting the ladies off. Quite the opposite in fact, he's batting them off with a shitty stick. "I'm single, but it's not for the amount of offers I get. A lot of women want me for my tattoos, but that is shallow and I'm not like that," he said.
Quite right, Paul, you should be with someone who wants you for your personality.
But Paul does want you to admire the beauty of his tattoos. He thinks he might be the most tattooed man in the UK as ink covers 96 percent of his body.
"I have all day sittings, that's six hours usually but I've had days were I've been tattooed for 10 hours. I never tap out and wait another day to get it finished, I get it done there and then," added Paul.
"At one tattoo studio I had my dressing gown and slippers permanently there. I used to go in and change in to them and get tattooed between other people's slots."
Credit: Trinity Mirror
Getting tattooed is his hobby. He says he has spend 15 grand on tats, but as he points out, how much does a smoker spend?
"Most people ask about my private parts," he said. "And yes I have a lighthouse tattooed there. I had to do the tattoo myself as Alan refused to do it."
His tattoo artist of choice is Alan Thompson, 30, of Forest Hall, who owns True Ink in Monkseaston, North Tyneside. I don't blame him for not wanting to tattoo Paul's penis - professionalism only goes so far.
Even his family is now on board with his ink. "My dad doesn't like tattoos but I think he's alright with them now," he said.
And Paul has some big plans. He's clearly a big Star Wars fan and is thinking of getting his face done like Darth Maul.
"I only started on my face when I started to run out of space, then I ended up getting it covered," said Paul. "However, I'm thinking of getting my face re-done, getting what I have now covered with Darth Maul from Star Wars, I just don't want it all black, but this is red and black, I'm 80% certain I will get it done, but I don't know, someone could think of something different."
Featured Image Credit: Trinity MirrorTopics: Tattoo