If you're anything like me, you're probably getting a bit sick of hearing about the royal wedding by now. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against marriage, I just don't care unless it involves people I know and even then I'm only pretending to be interested while I'm really wondering when the bar will open.
So, for miserable bastards like me, a pub in Derby has come up with the perfect solution - a total ban on any talk of the royal wedding. The Alexandra Hotel in Derby has declared itself a 'royal wedding-free zone' and anyone caught speaking about Harry and Meghan's nuptials will be fined, with all money being donated to charity.
Landlady Anna Dyson-Edge told the Sun: "A lot of our customers are blokes and they are not interested in it.
"They said: 'A royal wedding? Ugh! We are sick of it.'
"We thought we would give them somewhere to come to get away from it all."
Sounds good to me, Anna.
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To advertise the wedding-free haven, the landlady has placed a number of posters around the town, which read: "Royal wedding-free zone. Please refrain from discussing the royal wedding. We're not interested in it. Let's talk about beer or the weather instead - or something more interesting."
Anyone who falls foul of the rules will have to put cash in the pub's charity box, which raises funds for the Nightingale Macmillan Unit at the Royal Derby Hospital.
The landlady says the cause is close to her heart, as the unit cared for her late grandad.
Anna, who says she's not against the monarchy, went on to say: "We did the same for Kate and William when they got married. We raised about £400."
Kind-hearted Anna has also previously shaved her head to raise money for Macmillan.
The ban looks to be a hit with punters, with one regular telling the paper the idea was 'bang on', adding: "The less you hear about it the better. I am certainly not a royalist."
The royal wedding ban has been in place since the happy couple broke the news of their engagement in December, with Anna saying that most of the people forced to cough up have been passing through, as the regulars know better - or have better things to talk about, presumably.
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