Mum Shares Hilarious, Sweary Rant About Parenthood - And Chicken 'F***ing Nuggets'

A mum who had enough of parents pretending to be perfect online has hit back with a properly funny post.

Chelsea O'Connor, from Bolton, was fed up of seeing bragging parents online so decided to be brutally honest in a post about her own kids, the Manchester Evening News reports.

Taking to Facebook, she posted a photo of her kids eating biscuits and playing on their iPads and wrote: "'I Never Let my Kids eat processed Foods'

"Oh piss off Paula you lying bastard! After a week of three school runs a day, plus the 'I forgot my banana on the stairs mum!' re run before you eventually turn up for work, looking like something a fucking cat dragged in, you reach for those chicken twatting nuggets, chips and beans on a Friday Night like we all do!

"'My kids are in bed by 7pm every Night'

Credit: Manchester Evening News
Credit: Manchester Evening News

"Really Susan? REALLY? Because my little c***s were swinging from the curtains like fucking spider monkeys every night last week until 8.30pm when they eventually shut the fuck up and went to sleep. Fuck off Susan ya lying twat and put your Piriton syringe away ya cheating fuck stick!

"'My kids are only allowed their tablets for 20 minutes a day'

"Barbara you're a lying bastard! We all tell them to 'watch a film' whilst we clean our shit hole houses, then before we know it they're neck deep and two hours into some screaming little twat on YouTube, watching them play an Xbox game that they fucking own themselves, but noooooo, its more fun watching some snotty bratty bastard playing it!

"'Mine aren't allowed treats in between meals, they have fruit'

"Carole you bullshitting arse goblin! I left the room for five minutes last week and this happened. A fuck tonne of milk! A whole tray of biscuits. Both iPads and massive happy faces!

"Like fuck I was taking it off them. I was proud of their teamwork!

KID BURSTS IN WHILE DAD IS GIVING INTERVIEW TO BBC

"They're children. They should be allowed chicken nuggets for tea every now and then. It's OK if they have a late night here and there, or an iPad game/film for longer than 20 minutes so we can maybe, just maybe wash our fucking hair alone without our Gremlins trashing the bathroom like a pair of wild bastard seals!

"Mums you're doing just fine! Make the fucking nuggets. Utilise the iPads so you can maybe hear the voices in your head again.

Chelsea's little ones looking very pleased with themselves. Credit: Manchester Evening News
Chelsea's little ones looking very pleased with themselves. Credit: Manchester Evening News

"Let them knacker themselves out playing TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) upstairs on the c***ing curtains until they flake out, and let them have a treat. Let them steal the cookies from the cupboard and let them be fucking proud of it!

"With faces like those, I know I am."

Since sharing her post, Chelsea has been inundated with comments from other parents thanking her for 'keeping it real' and being honest about the struggles of parenthood.

I'm just really glad I don't have kids...

Featured Image Credit: Manchester Evening News

Claire Reid

Claire Reid is a journalist at LADbible. Claire graduated from Liverpool John Moores University with a BA in journalism. She’s previously worked at Trinity Mirror. Since joining LADbible, Claire has worked on pieces for the UOKM8? mental health campaign, the Yemen crisis, life in the Calais Jungle as well as a profile of a man who is turning himself into a cyborg.

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