Giant Grass Penises Have Started Showing Up In Melbourne

Crop circles are a strange phenomenon that people can't really explain yet. Is it the work of aliens? Pesky kids? Or something even more sinister? More importantly, what do they mean?

We don't have the answers to those questions because we're far more interested in a different type of agricultural vandalism that's going on in Melbourne.

A Reddit user has spotted the strange phallic designs while scrolling through Google Maps. One of the penises is a whopping 122 metres long and 20 metres wide, according to Broadsheet.

Credit: Google Maps
Credit: Google Maps

At the moment, the pensies have been spotted in T W Blake Park in Preston, Hayes Park in Thornbury and John Cain Memorial Park.

They're all impressively long and wide in design so it must have taken some serious work to create them. The artist or artists have gone for a simple penis design instead of doing anything tricky with veins.

Darebin Mayor Cr Susan Rennie has told Broadsheet they're onto the case.

"Darebin Council condemns this type of irresponsible vandalism on our parks and sportsgrounds. It is not a cheap joke - fixing the affected ovals is complex, costly and time-consuming," she said.

"Council is taking action to remove the graffiti, but it can take months for the grass to recover, during which time our community are left using sub-standard grounds which can be a safety hazard.

Credit: Google Maps
Credit: Google Maps

Credit: Google Maps
Credit: Google Maps

"Rectifying the issue also costs ratepayer funds, which could be better used elsewhere."

Well, now that ratepayers know their precious dollars are being used to clean up grass dicks they might get involved in hunting out the culprits. Mayor Rennie is asking anyone who knows anything to speak up and chat to the police.

It's similar but way less harmful than the dicks that started popping up on a flight radar in Adelaide.

The message was only visible to those following his progress using flight tracking software. Credit: Flightaware
The message was only visible to those following his progress using flight tracking software. Credit: Flightaware

The pilot, from Flight Training Adelaide, was out testing a single propeller plane's new engine, setting off from Parafield Airport, in South Australia, when he decided to use his flight path to reveal an important message...of sorts.

Taking the plane out for a two-hour spin, the pilot spelt out 'I'm bored' as well as making two penis-shaped symbols, according to Adelaide Now.

Pine Pienaar, director of Flight Training Adelaide, told Adelaide Now: "Young instructors, what can you do?" Before adding that neither he nor the company condoned the unnamed pilot's actions.

The cheeky in-air message was only visible to those who were monitoring his live-progress - so no harm done.

Featured Image Credit: Google Maps

Stewart Perrie

Stewart Perrie is a Trending Journalist at LADbible. His first job was as a newsreader and journalist at the award winning Sydney radio station, Macquarie Radio. He was solely responsible for the content broadcast on multiple stations across Australia when the MH17, Germanwings and AirAsia disasters unfolded. Stewart has covered the conflict in Syria for LADbible, interviewing a doctor on the front line, and has contributed to the hugely successful UOKM8 campaign.

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