There are certain things that we hold dear in our country. While we may not have a large population, and only have a relatively short history, we try to preserve our culture as much as, and wherever, possible.
So, you can imagine the almighty shitstorm that an ESPN sports business reporter caused when he tried his first Four n' Twenty meat pie.
Apparently, the Philadelphia 76ers NBA team has begun selling the delicious, succulent meat pastry at their home ground because of Aussie player Ben Simmons. Intrigued by the Aussie delicacy, ESPN reporter Darren Rovell wanted to give it a go.
But instead of drizzling tomato sauce all over it, then grabbing it by both hands (not too strong though) and chucking it down his gob, he opted to butcher it with a knife. Granted, he wanted to cut it in half, but then used the utensil to hack at the gorgeous pie like it was a meaty croissant.
While most American audiences would be none the wiser that this constituted a horrific crime against our cuisine, people were quick to pull him up on his error.
One person wrote on Twitter: "Darren, the public desecration of a Four n' Twenty pie in the manner of which you have just done is a declaration of war, as per the Australian constitution. We will see you on the battlefield."
Another said: "Darren. Dazza. Dazzla. Big Daz. Dazzy. D Bone. Big Dad Dazzy. Darry. Daz. Derren. I don't know what you are doing to our national cuisine, but I am calling Interpol."
A third tried to put it in perspective by saying: "See, what you're doing there is strange AF to us. Try to imagine seeing someone eating a hot dog with chopsticks."
Even ESPN Australia and New Zealand thought they'd be kind enough to tell the reporter about the awful attempt at pie eating.
Hell, Queensland Police even said he could receive a 'caution' if that was in Australia.
Eventually, after a horrific amount of online abuse, Darren apologised to Aussies and meat pies everywhere, saying on Twitter: "I am sorry to all Australians for my lack of understanding on how to eat a meat pie.
"I have been destroyed all day for how I apparently tested out the Australian meat pie being offered at 76ers games. Now that the police are involved, I would like to extend my sincere apologies."
Several hours later, after the video had been spread across Aussie news sites, the reporter followed up with another tweet, saying: "We've entered Day Two of the entire nation of Australia bashing me for my handling of a meat pie. It's apparently now news."
That'll teach him. People around the world will now know there is a particular way to eat a pie and that method should be strictly followed.
Featured Image Credit: Darren Rovell/Game of Thrones