Man Spends 3.5 Hours Going Through Alphabetti Tins To Compare Contents

Ever wondered if cans of Alphabetti spaghetti contain ALL the letters of the alphabet? Don't lie to me, I know you have.

But who could be bothered to go through all the dicking about of straining the pasta and then painstakingly checking and counting all the shapes? Step up unsung hero John Stitch, who spent three-and-a-half hours doing just that.

John, who admits to enjoying tedious tasks (shocker), picked up two tins of the Heinz tea-time treat at the 'big Tesco' while out shopping with his wife, Deirdre.

Credit: Mercury Press
Credit: Mercury Press

Sharing his investigation on Facebook, in a group 'about being boring', John said: "Yesterday me and my wife Deirdre went shopping at the big Tesco and when I was looking for some tins of beans I saw some tins of Alphabetti spaghetti and I have not seen any of them for a long time so we bought two tins and they cost 75p each.

"Today I saw the tins in the cupboard and I thought, 'I wonder if them tins have got all of the letters of the alphabet in' so I thought I would find out.

"So I got a tin and I opened it and I got a strainer and I tipped all the letters into it and all the tomato sauce went into a pan.

"Then I got Deirdre's tweezers and I picked all the letters out of the strainer and I put them all on a chopping board and when I finished I tipped all the letters back into the pan with the tomato sauce in it and then I did it with the other tin.

Credit: Mercury Press
Credit: Mercury Press

"I found out that both of the tins had got all the letters of the alphabet in and tin 1 had 180 letters in it and tin 2 had 179 letters in it and both tins had some bits of letters in that broke off but I didn't count them." (sic)

And what did he find? Well, I know you're all dying to know so I won't make you wait any longer.

"It doesn't say on the tin how many letters were supposed to be in each container so I decided to look into it," he said.

"It took about three-and-a-half hours in total to look at the contents - an hour-and-a-half to look at the contents of each tin and then half-an-hour taking pictures. Both tins had broken letters in there but I didn't include them.

"I decided to lay them out this way and put a bit of thought into it. I'm a very tidy person, I wanted to make everything look tidy and organised.

Credit: Mercury Press
Credit: Mercury Press

"There was a great sense of satisfaction in doing it - it turned out to be a bit of a work of art. I defy anybody to do it tidier than that.

"My wife Deidre, a shop assistant, was at work while I did it. When she came home and saw it she thought it was quite comical."

If you're now thinking, 'ah, that's a criminal waste of food', let me reassure you that thrifty John simply put the pasta back with the sauce, heated it up and he and Deirdre enjoyed them with some toast and sausages. Watch out, Gordon Ramsay.

Alphabetti-expert John even had a favourite, the 50-year-old said: "Tin one was definitely superior, the second tin was a bit random and didn't have as many As or as many Ns.

"If each letter was a Scrabble tile, with numbers allocated to them, then tin one would win.

"Based on the Scrabble scoring system tin one would get 586 points while tin two would reach 576 points. It was close but tin one is definitely the winner."

He's also got words for anyone who dares to say that he's boring. "Britain's most boring man? To be perfectly frank I'm one of the most interesting people in real life." You tell 'em, pal.

Featured Image Credit: Mercury Press

Claire Reid

Claire Reid is a journalist at LADbible. Claire graduated from Liverpool John Moores University with a BA in journalism. She’s previously worked at Trinity Mirror. Since joining LADbible, Claire has worked on pieces for the UOKM8? mental health campaign, the Yemen crisis, life in the Calais Jungle as well as a profile of a man who is turning himself into a cyborg.

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