If you feel like just screaming and screaming at your phone/computer screen, then do I have the video for you?
Anyone with arachnophobia should look away. Seriously, once you've seen this you can't un-see it and it's properly horrible.
OK, well that's fair warning. Enjoy:
The (human) star of the clip, known only as Lekshmi L, ended up with the spider on-board after falling asleep on her veranda. She woke up with a headache and a 'tingling sensation' in her ear. Yeah, I'll bet she fucking did.
She asked her daughter to see if she could see anything and had a little rummage about herself, but found nothing.
The pain got worse and worse, until her husband took her to hospital to try and get to the bottom of the pain.
After arriving at the Columbia Asia Hospital in Hebbal, India, doctors immediately took action to find out what the problem was. It was then that they found the spider living inside Lekshmi's ear and began trying to encourage the little bugger to get out by shining a light on him.
Here he is, wondering what all the fuss is about. Credit: Newslion
Dr. Santosh Shivaswamy, Consultant ENT at Columbia Hospital, said: "It is common to see emergency room visits due to the presence a foreign object in the ear and it takes a simple procedure to remove the object.
"However, when a living insect makes its way inside a human ear, the patient's anxiety makes it difficult to continue the procedure. It was a rare to see a live spider moving inside someone's ear canal."
After having the little fella removed, Lekshmi is reported to be fine. There's no word on what happened to the wee spider, but let's hope he's OK, too. Perhaps the doctor trapped him under a glass and chucked him outside? Or maybe Lekshmi took him home with her as a little pet.
Because not everyone fucking hates the eight-legged little bastards, some people, like Grant Wood, actually like having them around.
Forty-year-old Grant found viral fame because of spiders in very different circumstances to our friend Lekshmi. His house in Northamptonshire has become infested with about 100 segestria florentina, or tube web spiders.
But rather than cutting his losses and setting fire to his house, Grant is more than happy to see the spiders running about the place.
Credit: Caters/Mercury Press
He said: Most people's reaction to seeing them is, 'fuck that', everyone has been quite shocked by it. Tube webs like being outside and they don't tend to move from where they are. It is quite a rarity to have this many. I was shocked when I saw them.
"They don't scare me personally. I've always been interested in spiders. However, about two weeks ago one jumped on my head. I did a bit of a Kung Fu dance when it happened."
I'd be doing a bit more than a fucking 'Kung Fu dance', mate.
Featured Image Credit: newslion