Every day I get the absolute joy of sifting through LADbible's messages looking for things to share with you guys that I think you might find interesting or funny or whatever else.
One such message was from a guy who said he'd found a girl who claimed to have ceramic penis replicas of all the guys she's ever slept with.
Naturally, my own interest peaked and I had to find this girl. Not because I wanted a ceramic sculpture made of my own penis but because I just needed to know why. And how. And what. And all manner of other things, I guess.
Thanks to the power of Facebook, a quick search of the girl's name and I was speaking to 18-year-old fine art student Lily Heaume about her ceramic penises.
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Lily. Credit: Provided
Now, at this stage it's probably important to confirm Lily doesn't have some outrageous ceramic penis fetish and this isn't a hobby or a passion of hers.
The penises are actually part of a project called Ten Portraits, borne out of a text from a guy she'd slept with.
"I was sat in the studio and received some bullshit text from a guy I'd slept with," Lily told LADbible. "So I got some clay and started sculpting his penis from how I remembered."
"Then I carved 'Liar' into it."
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'Stop Calling Me' penis. Credit: Provided
Lily, from Guernsey but now living in Hackney Wick, (ironic), London, then decided she'd make a ceramic penis for every guy she'd ever slept with because she 'hadn't looked upon any of them as positive experiences'.
I personally wouldn't be comfortable with a girl making a ceramic sculpture of my penis from memory, so I had to ask whether the guys knew they were a part of the project.
Lily continued: "I didn't disclose whose is whose. Luckily, two of them I'm still friends with helped me out but one got a bit sour and awkward about it.
"They're only made from memory, it's not like I've put a little name tag next to each one."
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The penis pit. Credit: Provided
Each penis was made from clay and glazed white, decorated with a blue flower but with a flesh-like area on each where Lily engraved a personal message about that sexual partner.
Of course, a project like this being created in a school environment meant word spread quickly about 'Lily's willies' and was a hit before it was even finished.
"It was strange walking into the school café and hearing people talk about 'Lily's willies'," she added.
"I was really happy with the show, the work sold quickly and it was great to see the reactions on people's faces when they realised the ceramic objects on the cute mantelpiece were actually erect penises."
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The mantelpiece. Credit: Provided
We live in an age where freedom of expression seems to be scrutinised more than ever, and despite being accused of trophy-ism by some men who clearly didn't grasp the concept, that was the complete opposite of what Lily was trying to do.
For those of you taken by Lily's penis ceramics, unfortunately for you, her next project is taking her away from male genitalia and closer to pigs.
"I got some pigs faces, did their makeup, photographed them and made a cast," she said of her latest project. "But everyone just wants to hear about the dicks."
Look at them, Lily. Can you blame us?! It's not every day you see a ceramic erect penis on a mantelpiece, you know?
Featured Image Credit:Topics: girl, UK News, Funny, Sex and Relationships, Interesting, Friends