There are plenty of men and women who have looked at an item and thought they could include it in a moment of self-satisfaction. You might have used deep heat for lubricant or your phallic shaped TV remote because your natural curiosity chucks up that question of 'why not'.
While these adventures can sometimes produce more pleasure, others can certainly do the opposite.
Well, if you've ever thought, 'Mmm, that's a bit too far,' we can assure you that this Japanese bloke takes the cake for the weirdest thing ever used as a masturbating tool: an angler fish stomach.
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Yes, that terrifying creature from the deep sea, with the little light bulb attached to its head had its stomach removed and treated, only to be flung around some guy's little friend. You're probably asking why and so are we, but the only explanation we can muster is 'curiosity'.
The man uploaded his experience to the Japanese forum site 2Channel and the photos don't look appetising at all.
You first get to see the stomach in a plastic colander, looking a bit like a chunk of pork, with a red fleshy side and a white fatty side. Hopefully I haven't spoiled pork for you now.
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To ensure that the stomach wouldn't infect him, he doused it with ethanol and salt, which are two ingredients you wouldn't want anywhere near your genitals and yet here we are. He allowed that mixture to settle so any nasties would be well and truly gone and then put it on like a glove.
Like a glove.
A fish stomach.
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As a glove.
Let that settle in for a second.
According to the Metro, the caption that accompanied that last photo was: "I'm taking off my pants now."
Unfortunately for our webbed masturbator, it wasn't exactly orgasmic. Well, there's no official word on his climax, but he had to take himself to hospital after his little adventure because of a stinging sensation on his Johnson.
Surprise, surprise: it got infected.
Officially, his diagnosis was urethritis, which is an inflammation of the urethra, the little valve where your urine passes through. He was put on a course of antibiotics and was also given some ointment, which he had to apply whenever he went to the bathroom to ease the pain.
Anyone who's had a bad experience from masturbating will tell you to learn from the situation and avoid circumstances like that in the future. Well, our fishy gentleman says his inflamed penis hasn't deterred him and he's hoping to use a dead squid in the future.
Featured Image Credit: PA