If you're still wondering what to pop on your Christmas list for Santa, then stop the search, because a 'smart condom' that tracks, let's call it intimate information, is about to go on sale. Finally, eh?
The i.Con is the 'worlds first smart condom ring' and tracks sexual activity - a bit like a filthy Fitbit. It's been created by British Condoms and is set to go on sale for the bargain price of £59.99.
It's fully adjustable, you'll be pleased to know. Credit: British Condoms
The rechargeable bit of tech offers a six to eight hour battery life per charge. So, unless you're into tantric sex, like Sting, you should be sound for a few goes between charges.
Despite its name it's really more of a cock-ring than a condom and is worn around the base of the penis, on top of a condom, which its creators claim will also prevent condom slippage.
From here it can send all sorts of interesting data to your phone for example, the number and velocity of thrusts, total duration and frequency of session, calories burnt and there's even a beta test to track the number of positions used.
If all this isn't enough for you, the data is also sharable. So, you can compare with your mates, which isn't creepy at all, or you can just use it to check how you compare worldwide; see if your partner is lying to you or not.
Credit: British Condoms
And don't worry, LADS, it's fully adjustable so you don't have to miss out whatever your size, however, finding a partner willing to allow you to lash this on just before sex might be a bit more difficult.
Perhaps most amazingly, is the creators claims that it can spot STDs, and has an LED which changes colour if chlamydia or gonorrhea are detected.
According to Adam Leverson, the lead engineer on the project: "Not only have we innovated the world's first smart condom ring - that'll measure pretty much every aspect of performance in the bedroom - but now I'm pleased to confirm that it will also have built-in indicators to alert the users to any potential STIs present."
Credit: British Condoms
Aaron Slater, spokesperson for Nottingham-based British Condoms, added: "We knew we were on the cusp of creating something special with i.Con, and bringing a new meaning to wearable tech.
"But being advocates of safe sex, we wanted something more, and the addition of an STI indicator has certainly done that.
"With over 96,000 pre-registrations for the product, we know that this is a complete game-changer."
The i.Con is in its final stages of testing and is due to be released soon. If you fancy getting your, erm, hands on one, you can register here.
What a time to be alive.
Featured Image Credit: British Condoms