A new TV show called Bad Habits, Holy Orders is due to start on Channel 5, starring five girls in their late teens and early 20s who... well, frankly, who love shagging and the sesh. Presumably as some sort of penance for their really-not-that-remarkable behaviour, they're sent to live in a convent with nuns of the Daughters of Divine Charity.
Banter, banter, fucking banter.
Today, two of the girls from the show, along with two of the nuns, appeared on This Morning. Here's what went on:
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One of the girls, Sarah Lawrence, admits that she snuck a bottle of voddy into the convent when she first arrived.
She told Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby: "Our sense of fulfilment was only coming from likes on Instagram.
"We would wake up without make-up and the nuns would say, 'You look beautiful!' We learned that beauty comes from within and I can now go out without make-up."
Sarah added that she had an epiphany one day in the convent, adding: "I was just lying in bed, so happy and so content. I'd never had that feeling before - it was like enlightenment."
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Sister Linda began get teary-eyed at this too. She said: "This is a credit to us, I really feel emotional about it.
"I felt that strong connection between us during the process. We are one."
I'm not religious personally, but I have always felt a personal affinity with Jesus - turning water into vino remains the ultimate example of getting the boys on it when they were supposedly 'having a day off'. It's no coincidence that it was his first miracle.
Rebecca, 19, from Newcastle, is another of the women featured in the show. She says that she goes out partying six nights a week and has lost count of the amount of guys she's slept with.
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She's joined by Tyla, 22, from Leeds, who never comes home sober from a night out, and nightclub hostess Sarah, who spends up to ten hours a day on her phone. Then there's also Paige and Gabbi, who like tattoos and lingerie.
And to be fair, right, what the fuck are these women being sent to a nunnery for? They're literally doing normal things. Like, who the fuck goes on a night out and comes back sober? And every person in their 20s is gonna spend loads of time on their phone, it's virtually a social necessity - and plenty of people don't know exactly how many people they've banged, me included.
It's the 21st century, fucking hell. They should be out living their lives to the full, not holed up in some boring nunnery.
Featured Image Credit: ITV/This MorningTopics: This Morning, TV and Film, UK Entertainment