To make sure you never miss out on your favourite NEW stories, we're happy to send you some reminders

Click 'OK' then 'Allow' to enable notifications

Predicting Everything That's Going To Happen In 'I'm A Celeb' Is Pretty Easy

Predicting Everything That's Going To Happen In 'I'm A Celeb' Is Pretty Easy

Father figure, mother figure, bromance, showers. Piece of Piss.

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

Well, it's upon us, another dose of the annual hate-to-love-it reality TV show. Yes, Ant and Dec are back to bring us a group of Z-list celebs puking up caterpillars while rolling in shit.

Although the two Geordie lads are the best thing about the show, we have to acknowledge the unfortunate souls who are going to be spending a few weeks of their lives surrounded by messy and smelly things like Scarlett Moffatt's fake tan.

Though the show is yet to start, I reckon it'll be really easy to predict every single thing that's going to happen in the jungle, right from last year's Queen of the Jungle Vicky Pattison's jaw swinging from the Angel of the North to Tower Bridge in the studio, over to the inevitable Carol Vorderman shower shots.

Straight off the bat, the former Countdown star will be labelled 'the mother of the camp'. She'll be there for emotional stability, will be brave in challenges and try and drag the best out of the other contestants when they're unsure or down. Aside from that, young lads, who are too junior to remember Vords on Channel 4's letter and numbers show, will be eagerly Googling her camel toe, which will help to strengthen their bamboo.

Credit: PA

Under her wing will be Gogglebox star Scarlett, who will likely be the slapstick scaredy cat. She'll go to Carol when she doesn't believe in herself, so that she can have confidence pumped into her. There'll almost definitely be a moment when she cries about missing home, causing her fake tan to streak, saying: 'Ooh, aye, man. I jus' miss me mam an' da like, there me everythin'.

There'll be a lot of banter between her and the hosts, due to their Geordie connections, which means far too much of 'WHY AYE' and 'HOWAY MAN'. Chances are she'll continually under perform in challenges, bowing out and just generally being too petrified, but will be kept in because she's funny and has a lot of Twitter followers.

Larry Lamb will fill the boots of the father figure, which was portrayed by Tony Hadley last year. He'll probably hope he's in there long enough just so people can eventually say: 'I've got it! He's that bloke off Gavin & Stacy ain't he?! Right, bloody hell, change channel'.

Similar to Carol, he'll be there directing traffic, sorting out food as well as applying much needed knowledge to the intellectual challenges. My guess is that Wayne Bridge will enjoy his presence, and they'll sit together chatting bare shit about home life.

Former England football international Bridge is an exciting prospect in the jungle, because while he'll probably be safe, he'll be interesting because of, you guessed it, John Terry.

At some point he will sit around and tell the story of his former friend bumping uglies with his ex, before marching on to say 'I'm just glad I met Frankie' (from the Saturdays). Girls will know of the singer, and after a quick search lads will quickly like her too, meaning from both sides he has support - not to mention a whole new demographic for the I Hate John Terry Club.

It's probable that Wayne, as an athlete, will strike up a bromance with Ashley Banjo. The dancer will always bring home food and rewards, and will obviously do the whole I'm-gonna-pretend-I-did-shit-to-disappoint-them-but-really-I-did-well-OMG-what-an-idea-lmao-lol-rofl. He'll also get his abs out for the girls.

Sam Quek, one of our icons of Rio 2016 after winning gold with the England field hockey team, will be there to install some of that British pride, and won't back out of a challenge, no matter how big. Coming from the land of Birkenhead on the Woolyback shores of the Wirral, Merseyside, she'll bring that fiery Scouse spirit, humour and fight, even if it is only plastic.

You can be sure her and Ola Jordan, from Strictly Come Dancing, will be in the shower, getting in the first montage of the year.

Others, like Joel Demmott, Lisa Snowdon, Martin Roberts and Danny Baker, will probably fade into the background in fairly uneventful circumstances.

All that aside, there's going to be, as always, some truly excellent banter from the two national treasures, Ant and Dec. For some reason, their fundamentally unfunny sketches seem to be the greatest things ever.

Credit: ITV

Who could forget this? Why is it funny? It shouldn't be, but it's hilarious.

Anyway, I think we've covered all ground here. Showers, bromances, mother and father figures, failures, and so on.

The 16th series of I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here starts this Sunday on ITV at 9pm.

Featured image credit: Instagram/PA

Featured Image Credit:

Topics: I'm A Celebrity, I'm a celeb