Vinnie Jones was once booked THREE seconds into a game, for a foul against Sheffield United's Dane Whitehouse, while he played for Chelsea. At the time this earned him a record for the quickest ever yellow card.
In his autobiography, he said: "I must have been too high, too wild, too strong or too early, because, after three seconds, I could hardly have been too bloody late!"
He was sent off a whopping 12 times in his career and, as well as the three second booking, a year earlier he was booked just five seconds after kick off, as you can see below when playing for Sheffield United against Manchester City. It's so quick you hardly get your head around what's going on.
And that is a whole two seconds longer than his record-earning booking.
As well as being known for being a particularly physical player he was also part of the Crazy Gang, a nickname the media used to describe Wimbledon FC during the 1980s and '90s.
They became well known for their macho behaviour on the pitch, with Vinnie claiming teams hated playing them, and their cheeky practical joking off it.
This included 'jokes' such as setting fire to players' tracksuits and stripping each other naked and leaving them outside during runs.
The name first came into use after BBC commentator John Motson's shocked reaction to Wimbledon's FA Cup win over favourites Liverpool FC in 1988.
Hardly able to believe what he was seeing, he said: "The Crazy Gang have beaten the Culture Club." However, the players had been calling themselves it for some time.
Alongside Vinnie Jones, other high-profile members of the Crazy Gang included John Fashanu and Dennis Wise.
In an interview with ShortList, Vinnie and co-Crazy Gang member Nigel Winterburn talked about the kind of shit they would get up to.
Nigel said: "I had my shoes nailed to the floor and Ralgex in my pants straight away. The manager, Dave Bassett, might not have liked it, but he didn't have a say. We'd travel and it was Dave's bed that more often than not would end up outside his room or, on one occasion, in the swimming pool."
Vinnie eloquently added: "If you couldn't handle the stripping and the pranks and the abuse, you were fucking out. Simple as that."
On the pitch, as we've seen above, Vinnie didn't mess about, talking about the FA Cup final, he said: "I did Steve McMahon early in the game. Whack. He landed on me with his elbow and cut my face. I rather admired him for that."
He added: "People hated playing us, and who could blame them? This wasn't just a football team, it was an attack on the senses. It was the Crazy Gang."
This physical way of playing, despite attracting a shit-load of criticism, didn't do the club any harm and they climbed from the Fourth Division to the First in just four seasons under Bassett.
Doing what he did best, getting booked. Credit: PA
The nickname mainly fell out of favour with the players when the club started using it as marketing, going as far as having a small badge on the kits in the mid-90s and completely killing the joke.
After retiring from football, Vinnie managed to make a decent acting career for himself, starring in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Mean Machine and Gone In 60 Seconds. He also starred in a film called The Midnight Meat Train, which, despite its name, isn't a porno.
Happy birthday, mate.
Featured image credit: PA