What's the most painful thing you can think of? Got a clear choice in mind? Well, if you're a person who has a penis, get ready to rethink that.
Comedy writer Ross Asdourian has spoken to an Australian radio station about the most painful thing that has ever happened to him. May as well get straight to the point with this one, so get your best grimace ready - he ruptured his penis while having sex.
Just give that a minute to sink in. I think we're all going to be wincing at that, even if only a little bit.
Asdourian spoke of the 'sports related' injury on the Kyle and Jackie O show on KIIS 106.5, a radio station in Sydney.
The unfortunate accident took place in New York and... well, you know what, let's just let him explain it.
He said: "I think the question of how it happened is pretty simple - I was having sex.
"We were having sex in what doctors call 'doggy style' position and I came out and then went back in, and we both did that in equal but opposite force, and it caused a very audible 'pop'.
"I like to say the heat and the passion of love making was to blame."
Bloody hell.
He ranked the amount of pain that he was in as 'an 11 out of 10' which sounds about right.
He also said that his partner did not immediately realise his predicament, nor the distress he was in.
He continued: "I didn't really scream because if you've ever been in that kind of pain you don't make a lot of noise.
"I got up, put the lights on... the poor girl was just sitting there on all fours looking confused because she didn't know what was happening."
Needless to say, the only thing that he could do was call 911 and get the ambulance crew to come out. They surveyed the damage and, as you might imagine, sent him off to the hospital.
However, this took place in America, where ambulance travel is enough to bankrupt most people. He asked to get a taxi down to the hospital, but the crews told him that he needed to take the ambulance because of the severity of his injuries.
"You know it's bad when medics, who deal specifically with trauma, took one look at me and just said 'oooft'," he said.
"It turns out I ruptured both of my penis muscles and severed my urethra - which is a bit more rare."
You're goddamn right it's rare, mate. Let's hope it stays that way.
Luckily, they managed to save his penis, and he is now fine and ready to tell the tale.
He added: "I can't even tell you what a miracle it was that they put me back together."
He may be physically healed, but you'd think any future sexual encounters might come with a bit more mental trepidation.
Featured Image Credit: KickstarterTopics: Interesting, Sex, Fail, doctors, New York, Australia