Man Accidentally Books Into A Swingers' Hotel While Away With Work
Picture the scene: you're off on a work training session and you travel down to the Midlands for a night away from home.
That's already bleak enough.
Now imagine that you've accidentally booked yourself into a hotel that describes itself as 'The UK's leading adult sexual entertainment venue'.
Well, that's exactly what one 32-year-old man - let's call him Adam - did recently.
Now, staying in hotels anywhere near a big city is expensive at the best of times, but if you're only there for one night and you're offered a room for £30, most people would jump at the chance.
In this story, our hero did just that before realising that it was - in actual fact - a swingers' hotel.
He told LADbible: "I was off to the Birmingham area for a work training course, went online and found a hotel, phoned them up and booked it.
"They didn't want any details or nothing, I didn't think anything of it and it was £30 per night so I thought, 'Result!'
"£30 in Birmingham is cheap as hell. All the other places were like £90 per night.
"When I got there I went into reception and they told me my room number. I was walking up the stairs and there were adult-themed pictures everywhere.
"I got up to the landing and then as I got to my door, there was a big sex swing there! I thought to myself, 'This is a swingers' hotel.'
"When I got into my room I saw the other things there and - well - that confirmed it."
In that situation, most of us would just chalk it up to experience and try to either leave or just grin and bear it.
However, it wasn't to be that simple.
Adam continued: "About ten minutes later the owner came up. She didn't knock, she just came straight in and said that there was a built-in club downstairs.
"She said, 'It is a swingers' venue but you may have already realised that by now. You're more than welcome to come downstairs.'
"It was very interesting to say the least."
You're not wrong there, mate.
It turns out that this is a mistake that could happen to all of us, though. Everyone loves a bargain, and - we've checked this, it's there - it features on popular hotel sites too.
Our intrepid explorer added: "When you arrive there - because not only swingers stay there apparently - in the weekdays it is open to the public to stay there. At weekends it is only there for the private members.
"I was there in the week. At the weekend they obviously use the swing and all sorts.
"There's a sign that says not to use the toys in the public areas on weekdays because of public guests.
"I spoke to one guy from Germany who works in the area a lot and he said he doesn't swing and knew nothing about it but has been staying there for the simple fact that it's £30 per night."
So, the real question remains - did he use the facilities? Well, sort of. To be fair, you might only find yourself in this sort of situation once by accident.
"I did go down to the club to see what it was all about. I got my lifetime membership for it. I went down by myself and they signed me up and took me downstairs.
"I was shown the sex dungeon, the torture rooms, the dogging area...
"I went up this staircase and I could have fallen on the floor laughing. It was pieces of wood cut into trees with painted bits on it and a bench in the corner. It was so funny. I was on the floor laughing."
However, while it definitely has some more - shall we say - unique qualities for the right customer, it was a massive miss when it came to the fundamentals of hotel comfort.
Adam added: "All night you could hear people in the other rooms doing stuff. Whipping, chains scraping against walls until about five or six in the morning.
"The rooms were really clean and tidy, but the beds! It was the worst night's sleep I've ever had in my life."
"It's opened my eyes to it because it had never crossed my mind before. I am open-minded, but I won't be returning."
That seems fair enough.
Featured Image Credit: Supplied