Are you ready for this piece of Reddit Today I Fucked Up gold?
Ok, let's revisit it, and, for the sake of the story being incredible, hope it's true.
It all begins innocently enough. A guy hears her roommate come home with a girl and thinks 'good on yer, pal'. They go to his roommate's bedroom and magic happens. Only it's rather loud, passionate sorcery. But it actually turns him on so much that he begins masturbating. Each to their own, I suppose.
But what could be the twist? How could this become more than an inconvenience which he's turned into a seedy, cheeky little bishop bashing session? Could it really be his ex-girlfriend? Oh no, surely, it can't be? That would be really awkward, wouldn't it? That would be terrible, yes? The worst that could happen! Well take a read and keep going right to the end...
"This happened yesterday. So, I was lying on my bed in my room at home, reading, when I heard the front door open and my flatmate come in with a girl. He clearly didn't think I was home, because they immediately went to his room (which shares a wall with mine). I was mildly amused by this, so I decided not to go out and ruin their fun.
"Before long, they start getting down to it and, since they didn't think I was home, they weren't shy about being vocal. He was grunting away, and she was moaning pretty loudly, shouting his name, etc. All this noise started to turn me on, so I started masturbating, figuring that this was better than porn because it was real-life. Eventually, the girl started moaning even louder, which I took to indicate that she was cumming, and there was some definite wall-banging as well, so it didn't take me long to finish either. Satisfied, I went back to my book.
"After about half an hour or so, I was bored of being confined to my room, so I went out into the lounge, not really caring if I'd embarrass them; we're all adults, we can just laugh it off.
"I walked into the lounge to find my flatmate sitting on the couch, watching TV, with his arm around my little sister.
"Christ. What have I done?"
What have you done indeed, fella. Nope, not his ex-girlfriend, his little sister, who he claims he wanked off to, hearing her groans, moans and most intimate delights.
Dirty bastard.
Featured Image Credit: