Well, well, well how many times do you come across turn of the century era pleasure devices that come in their own beautiful display boxes.
Matthews Auction Rooms is selling this fine piece, called a 'lady companion', in Ireland. They're hoping to fetch between £500-800.
Credit: Matthews Auction Rooms
If you look at it closely, you can see that it is very detailed and pretty long. The skin folds are clearly engraved and there's a love heart at the end where a woman would put her finger. There's even a receptacle where she's supposed to keep a lock of her man's hair.
It's labelled as Lot 475, which is nestled next to a pair of antique oval miniature portraits and a collection of five antique silver plated decanter labels.
Honestly this place has everything!
Auctioneer Damien Matthews has told the Irish Times: "It is a beautiful piece, which comes from one of the well-known Anglo-Irish families.
"A family member found it in a drawer, and he put it in the auction for fun really. We believe the ivory dates back to the 1840s. This fellow, the original owner, was in India in the 1840s, where he shot himself an elephant, and brought the tusk home."
He says the ivory was then taken to China around the turn of the 20th century to be carved into a big ole dildo.
"The Chinese were famous for carving ivory, and the quality of carving is so good, I think that is where he would have had to have had it done. He would not have known that he was coming home, and would have wanted his wife to have this," says Matthew.
I bet she would have!
Eventually the lovely piece made its way back to Ireland where a very enlightened family owned it. But now it could be yours!
Dildos have actually been around for a lot longer than people think.
The world's oldest sex toy is a 20 centimetre stone penis which is believed to be about 30 thousand years old. Yep, those cavewomen knew how to do it. It was discovered in Ulm, Germany.
They've been made from a variety of materials over the years, from stone, tar, wood and anything else that could be made into a phallus shape.
Credit: Wikipedia/Sailko
There are dildo's seen in Ancient Greek vases and comedy pieces, then later in an English poem in the 16th century.
But we reached the highest of capitalism a few years ago when Poundland began selling dildos for literally just one pound.
The bargain toy is pink and even packaged with gel and wet wipes, and was introduced to some stores in 2015 before exploding across the country.
The range was even reviewed on Channel 4's raunchfest Sex Box by sexologist Goedele Liekens, who spoke positively of the £1 dildo in particular, saying it was, "no different to something that you would pay about a hundred pounds for."
A Poundland spokesperson said: "The item is merchandised on the top shelf, out of the reach of children, within the health and beauty section."
Well thank god they thought of the children!
Featured Image Credit: GIPHY
