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We’re Going To Burn In Hellfire And You’re All Invited

We’re Going To Burn In Hellfire And You’re All Invited

Mark March 21, 2021 in your diary.

Patrick Hulbert

Patrick Hulbert

Make the most of your Christmas because we'll all be dead quite soon. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

As reported by the Bible: "He shall speak pompous words against the Most High, shall persecute the saints of the Most High, and shall intend to change times and law. Then the saints shall be given into his hand. For a time and times and half a time."

Now the uneducated among us may believe this is lacking a date or any real substance, but luckily Theodore Shoebat, of reputable site Shoebat.com, who doesn't have extreme opinions at all, believes he can pinpoint when the end will arrive.

And, if Theodore's scientific projection is correct, we could be fucked sooner than you think. He has this insight for us: "The saints will be given into the Antichrist's hand for a time, times, and half a time.

"Most Bibles with a footnote will tell you that means three years and a half.

"Basically, 'time' is one year, 'times' is two years, and 'half a time' is half a year or six months. So that means this invasion of Jerusalem will go on for three years and a half."

Yay, the Antichrist is coming. Credit: Newmarket Films

The Daily Star highlights that fellow theologian and sagacious being Michael Parker, of blog End Time Prophecies (grim) believes God will declare his wrath on September 23, 2017, so add three-and-a-half years to that and March 23, 2021 will be the end of days. At least we get to see the Tokyo Olympics first. I just want to know who kicks off the 'pompous words', really.

As Theo lad explains, the Antichrist will come down in some shape or form and wreak havoc, too, coming to Jerusalem and fucking shit up.

There's the shithead, whispering into the ears of man.

Here's a theory which didn't happen that Jesus was going to come down on a white horse and bring about the apocalypse from Michael Parker and his lot, which shows he gets it wrong from time to time, but is compelling in its argument.

Credit: YouTube/End Time Prophecies

Back to Theo, and there's no word on how the end of the world will look, but my guess is something like this...

Credit: 20th Century Fox

Or this...

Credit: PA

Main image credit: 20th Century Fox

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