Last week, the nation experienced a collective facepalm as doctors felt the need to urge customers not to use Lush's recently launched aubergine-shaped bath bomb as a sex toy.
It was a life lesson we didn't think anyone would ever need. But while the stupidity of it all was just starting to be forgotten, an entirely new story warning people against shoving things up their nether regions has appeared, and once again we're left wondering just what the heck is happening to humanity.
This time round we're looking at herbs - doctors have spoken out and urged women not to put parsley in their vaginas after a heavily criticised article suggested it could induce periods. You can add that to the list of things NOT to insert into the vagina, ladies.
The original article, which has since been taken down, stated: "While few of us would feature parsley as the main part of a dish, it turns out the herb is a mild emmenagogue and can help to kick-start your period, so you might want to look into some parsley recipes ASAP.
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"Parsley can help to soften the cervix and level out hormonal imbalances that could be delaying your cycle, helping your period come faster. If you're struggling to find a dish based on parsley, don't panic - the most effective forms are said to be parsley tea and parsley vaginal inserts."
Parsley. Vaginal. Inserts.
Fucking hell.
Now before you start running to your local pie and mash shop to raid their parsley liquor stash, let it be known that all use of the herb in that area of the body is based on anecdotal evidence.
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Parsley is not a safe method for bringing on periods, and while we're on the subject, you should definitely scrub the oft-touted theory that it can be used for home abortions too - in some cases, it's led to death.
Speaking to the Independent, Dr Shazia Malik said: "There is no evidence of any benefit to a woman of doing this, and clear risk of significant harm as deaths have been reported.
"I would urge women not to insert anything unless they have taken proper medical advice."
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Additionally, Dr Sheila Newman added that putting parsley in the vagina 'is not something that is recommended by gynaecologists' and the article was 'irresponsible'. Doesn't get much clearer than that, does it?
She said: "There are only a few things that should go in your vagina and vegetables generally aren't one of them."
Featured Image Credit: Kate Ter Haar (Creative Commons)Topics: UK News, Weird, Health