The adult entertainment industry has been mourning the apparent suicide of film star August Ames after her body was found inside a property in Camarillo, California. News of the Canadian-born actor's death and seen an old interview resurface, which included harrowing accounts of what happened to her when she was a teenager.
In September, Ms Ames went on the Holly Randall Unfiltered podcast and detailed how she received a lot of 'sexual molestation' when she was growing up, but confirmed it wasn't her dad.
She told the host that those experiences were embedded in her mind for years: "It was just awful. It's still recent where I have to keep myself occupied or else I start thinking about all that shit and then I fall into a depression.
"I try to do therapy. I hate that word. I hate therapy.
"I would get in contact with some people and then I would feel badly because they'd be like 'what's your profession and I'd be like 'oh, I'm in the adult industry' and then I'd feel like they're like 'oh, that's the whole reason that you are the way you are' and then I'd get turned off."
August, real name Mercedes Grabowski, also claimed she was offered cocaine by the dad of a girl she was babysitting, but only on the condition that she would strip naked for him. She was 15-years-old at the time.
The 23-year-old added that later in life she smoked 'a lot' of weed and had to stop drinking alcohol because she ended up blacking out every time. The adult film actor also revealed she was taking medication for bipolar disorder, depression and multiple personality disorder because when she wasn't managing her conditions she would 'flip' out.
These revelations paint a dark picture for August and highlight what she had been dealing with for nearly a decade.
The Canadian-born actor had been the target of online trolls in recent days after announcing she didn't want to perform with guys who had also done gay porn.
She wrote on Twitter: "I don't have anything to apologize for! Apologizing for taking extra steps to ensue that my body stays safe? Fuck you guys attacking me when none of my intentions were malicious. I fucking love the gay community! What the fuck ever! I CHOOSE who I have inside my body. No hate."
One of the people who criticised her, gay porn actor Bruce Beckham, didn't hold back about his comments, even after news of her death had surfaced. He said: "On Monday I called out a homophobic performer for her ignorance and uneducated bias.
"She allegedly chose to end her own life when she was exposed to the same vitriol that gay people have been exposed to globally for decades.
"Today, friends, performers and fans are attributing blame to myself and others who weighed in.
"FTR, I'm sorry for her loss of life and whatever personal struggles caused her to choose to end her own life when faced with confrontation, accountability, and education."
August's brother, James Grabowski, was understandably devastated by her death and told the Sun: "I want my sister's death to be recognised as a serious issue - bullying is not OK," he said. "It cost me my baby sister's life.
"I will do what I can to be a voice for Mercedes but right now my family and I need to be left alone to grieve - we have lost a loved one."
'U OK M8?' is an initiative from LADbible in partnership with a range of mental health charities which features a series of films and stories to raise awareness of mental health.
Explore more here and don't suffer in silence. Reach out. It's the brave thing to do.
MIND: 0300 123 3393.
Samaritans: 116 123.
CALM: Outside London 0808 802 5858, inside London 0800 58 58 58.
Mental Health Foundation
Featured Image Credit: August Ames/Instagram