ladbible logo

To make sure you never miss out on your favourite NEW stories, we're happy to send you some reminders

Click 'OK' then 'Allow' to enable notifications

Adoption Ad Describes Cat As An 'Utter, Utter Bastard'

Adoption Ad Describes Cat As An 'Utter, Utter Bastard'

Would you adopt him?

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

Some people have the opinion that cats are evil, grumpy, lazy things that want absolutely nothing to do with humans.

As opposed to dogs, who you take for walks, always want your attention and are full of energy, cats prefer to lie down, be stroked like royalty and eat. Because of this, you may find yourself suspecting felines have underlying motives, like they're secretly planning to kill you.

Despite this (probably) not being true, a certain cat named Mr Biggles - or 'Lord Bigglesworth' - isn't doing anything to help the evil cat stereotype.

He's been described by an adoption agency as 'an absolute bastard' and is a bit of a snob.

Credit: PetRescue

There are a few compliments in the Australian PetRescue advert, such as him being 'gorgeous', but it seems he can also be a drama queen from time to time.

"He will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards," the ad reads. "There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder.

"Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it's time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you."

"He is a full-blooded tomcat with very firm boundaries.

"Mr Biggles needs an owner that won't take his nipping personally but won't let him get away with bad behaviour either.

"He will make the right person an exceptional feline companion for life, because when he gives his heart it will be absolutely and fully given without return."

Credit: PetRescue

He apparently does have a soft side, and will warm to you with the right care, although it's tough to want to get to that point if it means treating him like a king and putting up with him 'nipping you'.

Thanks to his persona, however, he has acquired quite the fan base. He now has his own website - utterbastardcat.com - where he updates us on his life as well as answering media enquiries.

"STOP PRESS! Exclusive interview with Mr Biggles now available for viewing by his adoring public," the introduction to his site reads. "Media requests and applications for slavery to Lord Bigglesworth can be sent to [email protected].

"Yes he has his own website. He'll be publishing more about his life, including 'stalking chickens 101', 'how to play with a dog and not kill it', 'getting what you want from human slaves' and of course what's he's well known for... 'rip shred tear - being firm with boundaries'."

We've reached out to Lord Bigglesworth for comment.

Featured Image Credit: PetRescue

Topics: cat#