A prisoner who was caught with a phone concealed up his you know what came up with a golden excuse when put on the spot - he tried to claim that it didn't belong to him.
Dylan Martin was discovered to have a four-inch mobile shoved up his backside during a search by prison wardens, who grew suspicious after picking up a signal from his cell.
After rifling through his room at HMP Bullingdon, near Bicester in Oxfordshire, and not being able to find anything, they went with the full body search and that's when they spotted the device hidden where the sun doesn't shine.
According to The Metro, Martin acted surprised and tried to claim that the Samsung phone was not his.
Unfortunately for the inmate, his excuse just didn't add up... particularly since the guards discovered a SIM card full of his family and friends' contact details. Whoops.
As such, Martin eventually admitted to his misdeed at the Oxford Crown Court and was given a full six months on top of his three year sentence.
The news came as a blow to the prisoner, particularly since defence barrister Vida Simpeh said he'd made good progress while in prison by going on several rehabilitation courses, and was preparing for his release in April 2019.
The hard work's gone to pot thanks to his new conviction, which means he won't be out until October of the same year.
Although Judge Ian Pringle took his hard work into consideration, ultimately he was not impressed by Martin breaking the rules when he knew the consequences.
He said: "You knew full well that was not permitted. It is a scourge on our prisons up and down the country the possession of mobile phones, and you deserve punishment for that.
"However, you also deserve credit for the plea of guilty you have entered and I note you have completed various courses and you are preparing for release.
"I am afraid that release will be a little bit delayed."
No doubt Martin's learned his lesson - there's more than one reason why sticking a phone up your butt is a bad idea.
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