Ferris Bueller had the greatest day off ever!
I'm not going to bang on about how good I am at skiving in case my boss reads this. However, everybody knows one of the main arts of skiving is subtlety: always ensure you are somewhere else when the work is being allocated.
For example, when your manager stands up and begins handing out shit, just go and make a brew or nip to the bog or something. Look busy, yeah, but get the hell out of there.
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Obviously, don't disappear for ages, though, because they will notice and then you'll get your ugly, yella, no-good keister in trouble. At least, you'd imagine they would anyway.
Two men, from Jerez de la Frontera in southern Spain, managed to skip shifts for up to 15 years. You read that right. The pesky guys, whose names are unknown, were only busted when their employer's human resources department discovered neither of them had turned up for a day at work during 2015 or 2016.
One of them was employed as a driver and the other was a gardener. I know what you're thinking... surely somebody must have noticed the damn plants hadn't been watered? Apparently not.
The town hall of Jerez de la Frontera released this statement: "Two representatives of the General Confederation of Labour union (the CGT) could have gone years without coming to work; according to a written statement by the men themselves, this situation could date back 15 years."
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However, the union has defended the men and claimed the absences were 'accumulated days'. Yeah, yeah, fellas. Pull the other one.
During the investigation into the case, one of the guys returned to work and the other handed in a written statement explaining he had accumulated the hours of his colleagues. However, the town hall said it was 'insufficient to free him from work for the rest of the year, which was his intention'.
It was good while it lasted, eh, lads? Lucky, lazy bastards!
Words by Sian Broderick
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