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Impatient Cyclist Narrowly Avoids Getting Run Over By A Train

Impatient Cyclist Narrowly Avoids Getting Run Over By A Train

Apparently he really couldn't wait.

Anonymous

Anonymous

"I don't fuckin' care, mate."

It's the kind of bold, brave statement we've grown used to hearing in 2017, as angry, testosterone fuelled men the world over descend into splenetic rage whenever they're told they're no longer allowed to smoke ciggies in maternity wards (they never were), listen to music at whatever volume they like ( it's the hallmark of a twat) or, naturally, do the one thing men really love to do - cross a train line when there's a barrier down and a train on the way. A train.

Credit: Twitter/Laughingcow4

An actual train.

Not a gravy-train. Not a train of thought. Not even a midnight train going anywheeeeeere. No, an actual train travelling at several hundred miles an hour.

What a hero (read: pillock) this man is, defending his right to blithely ignore the red and white metal barrier preventing him from getting to the other side of a train line (designed, remember, for fast trains) in Richmond.

Richmond, you may or may not know, is in London. London is the capital city of England. It is also home to lots of fast trains - at least 12 - so it's unlikely the fella in this video had never come across one before.

via GIPHY

As you can see, Hero Boy decides the barrier is... well, a barrier to him and success, freedom.

Watch as he bravely picks up his bike and careers through the barrier, only to be stopped by the killjoy train of the metropolitan elite. The really fast train killjoy train.

Fortunately for all concerned, he didn't actually get himself rail-shanked, despite reacting to the train driver's warning signal with rage.

He was also caught in the act and is now likely to face criminal charges once the British Transport Police figure out who he is. The video above was shared, via Twitter user @Laughingcow4, by none other than Jeremy Vine, best known as comedian Tim Vine's brother, Tim being that comedian who does great one-liners that win awards at the Edinburgh Fringe.

Aside from pointing out the fella's utter stupidity, Jeremy Vine makes a good point. It's far from unlikely that a train driver (on the London Underground at least) will experience someone jumping under a train at some point in their career, with around 93% of those deaths caused by suicides, the majority carried out by troubled young men.

While TFL provides counselling services in such instances, the effects on train drivers are ongoing and in many ways irreversible, which makes Mr Bison's Darwinian-defying antics all the more galling. What. A. Tit.

By Ronan O'Shea

Featured Image Credit: Facebook/Laughingcow4