Sympathy is a thing that doesn't exist when a hangover kicks in, because, as we all know, it's self-inflicted and if the night before was decent, it's worth it.
There's usually a few types of hangovers that grab a hold of you. First is the 'I'm still drunk'. You wake up on a major high and have no thoughts towards the impending pain coming your way later in the day. The second is 'oh my fucking god, I'm never drinking again'. You've woken up wallowing in a pit of self-despair and your room is rife with the poignant smell of cheap food and bad decisions.
They're the main two, but there are also the 'oh, I'm not as bad as I thought' hangover, as well as the 'I'm just gonna stay in bed and watch Breaking Bad', to name a few.
Whichever one you may be suffering from, the same thing pretty much happens inside the body.
There are the obvious protruding symptoms, such as dry mouth, headache, vomiting, nausea, lethargy and just general can't be arsed-ness. On the inside, though, there's a lot more going on, that makes you feel that way.
First of all, that banging in your head. When you spend a good few hours knocking back pint after pint, your body loses water. So, what your body does in order to hydrate itself is try to find it from other places, like your brain. The membranes then bond to your skull as the water is drained out.
Eventually when you muster up the courage to take that first step out of bed, you're probably hit with the inevitable feeling of projectile vomit. This is because the lager you've drowned yourself in has made your body over produce stomach acid.
The ale also inflames the stomach lining and produces a fatty liver, all of which contribute to feeling nauseous and, well, like shit.
"Because the stomach is so irritated, giving it food can mean that you may see it again very shortly," Jack, a doctor from Manchester, told LADbible. "There's also the issue of withdrawal symptoms. Because alcohol has been consumed in such a way the body tricks itself into thinking it wants more, just like any other drug. So, in the morning, when your body wants another drink, but you can think of nothing worse, you get uncomfortable, sweaty and shaky."
Once you've rid your stomach of just about every ounce of food and drink inside it, soon enough you'll get hungry. Drinking always makes us want to eat and usually a bacon butty is the first port of call. You crave that sensational fatty goodness because your body will produce insulin to break down all the sugar in your system.
Following an all out feast on unhealthy food, a demon we must all deal with arrives. A rumble in your stomach and an alarm going off in your head. Clear the runaway, your 'beeriod' has arrived. Over indulging in alcohol means that you've disrupted your water flow and so your intestines will absorb everything you drink. This means that sprinting up the stairs to the toilet is a reality you're going to have to face.
"Alcohol can increase gut motility and it doesn't get broken down before it reaches the colon, where bacteria feast on these, resulting in bloating and diarrhea," Dr. Kathlynn Caguiat told Thrillist.
Unfortunately, as you've probably worked out, there's not really a definitive way to avoid all of this stuff other than not drinking. Of course, everyone has their own cure.
Daniel Craig, who is James Bond so whatever he says goes, really, swears by children's medicine.
He's never shied away from the fact that even when he's not playing Bond he enjoys a Martini and anything else he can get his hands on.
"I like to have a drink, and I love pubs and I love finding new pubs and places to socialise," he told Dujour.
Although his stardom has made it difficult for him to enjoy a nice, quiet drink, he still gets stuck in, citing Mexico City as one of his favourite places to get on the lash.
After telling Dujour that you can get messy on 'anything you fucking want!' while there, he also let slip his secret to getting over the hangover.
Taking a tip from fellow actor Mark Wahlberg, he takes Pedialyte, a medicine that prevents dehydration.
"It's basically a diuretic; you give it to kids who are dehydrated," he said. "If you wake up in the morning and you've got one of those on standby and you down the whole lot you can carry on drinking. [I got the cure from] Mark Wahlberg. Who I don't know, but I was told that's what Mark swears by.
"It's the difference between life and death as far as I'm concerned."
The medicine is store bought so any of us can try it.
Featured Image Credit: The Simpsons/FOXTopics: Drinking, Beer, Hangover