Anyone's who's been to the seaside will know that seagulls are bastards on the sly.

All you want is to sit down and eat your fish and chips in peace, but the winged cretins can't seem to let that happen.


They're like an unexpected heel in WWE. Their chirping is generally something that reminds you of great days out at the beach. If you hear it, the innocence of sand castles, the whiff of the sea air, and the lapping of waves crosses your mind.

But then, when you least expect it, they turn on you. They nick your chips, and then, to add insult to injury, they shit it out in front of you - sometimes on you.

Boo. Fucking boo.

And to further the claim that seagulls are in fact part of a well-hated faction, one has been filmed eating a whole pigeon in one go.

Credit: Durchblickable

The clip has surfaced as a promo for an upcoming battle between the heel seagulls, and the face pigeons, who have formed to try and end the seagulls' reign of terror.

It's very much D-Generation X vs The Corporation, circa 1998.

"We've got two words for ya."

It was reportedly filmed in Rome, a common breeding ground for viscous seagulls who are sick to death of pancetta and pasta, much preferring the raw taste of their fellow bird.

One thing that stands out is just how much it can actually fit in its mouth. Here's us, visiting ponds, lakes or indeed the sea, feeding ducks, swans and seagull with meager chunks of bread, when in reality they can fit a sizable animal down their throats.

"It's just a gullet with legs. Imagine being small enough for this thing to eat. It would be like a flying t-rex with soulless red eyes," an angry pigeon enthusiast commented.

Luckily they've been heavily recruiting...


More on this story as it develops.

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