The hot weather is here, so your plans probably don't extend much beyond reaching for a bottle of Bud or sipping on a G&T. You don't want your summer to turn into a scene from a horror B-movie - but that could become a reality.
There is a 'colossal plague of rats making their way through the UK. Yup, that's right: these aren't the cute rats like Remy from Ratatouille, who's going to come into your kitchen and help you make a five-star meal.
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These rodents are expected to be up to a frankly terrifying four feet long and twice the size of a house cat, so best of luck getting your feline friend to protect you. It's every man - and cat - for themselves, folks.
You might be wondering how many rats are we talking about? Well, experts are saying that there could be as many as 120 million - almost double the amount of people living in the country.
Speaking to the Sun, Andy Hill, who is a pest controller at Wee Critters Pest Control, said that he found a rat that was four feet long when he was called out on service.
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"Thankfully, it was already dead - but we measured it and found it was 130cm long from the head to the tip of its tail. That's just over four foot," he said.
"Bins in many areas are now only emptied fortnightly - leaving the rats lots of time to munch on rubbish leftovers - and people are chucking more and more food away. They're all over the city at the moment - and this is a problem that's just getting worse. You see them in daylight and in gardens, which were previously quite rare.
"It's likely the heat and the fact they need to find new water supplies is driving them above ground."
These rodents can carry up to 60 diseases that people can catch, and you can get them by coming into contact with their droppings and saliva or getting bitten or scratched.
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You've probably been to the Magaluf Strip and thought you had seen it all, but these rats are about to give even the zaniest of drunken extroverts a run for their money.
Female brown rats can mate with 500 partners during a six-hour period. Six hours and 500 times. Just think about that for a moment. We all know someone who brags about their sexual proficiency, but this is a tall order for anyone.
How could it be any worse, you ask? Oh, you should never ask that question. The mutant rats aren't affected by poison. Yes, most exterminators have to use ordinary traps to kill these freaks of nature.
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Want our advice? Lock your doors, board up your floors and stand sentry, armed with whatever you can find. For a less extreme option, you might want to follow Simon Pegg's advice in Shaun of the Dead: let's just go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint and wait for all of this to blow over.
Words by Adnan Riaz
Featured Image Credit: monkeywing (Creative Commons)Topics: uk news, Animals, Health