You Can Name A Cockroach After Your Ex For £1.50 This Valentine's Day

Just as you start to feel as though you've finally shaken off Christmas and New Year, Valentine's Day starts to rear its soppy head.

But this year, you can do something really lovely and meaningful.

Don't buy roses for your loved one - roses die and nothing is achieved. Instead you can name a cockroach after your ex - cockroaches can survive nuclear explosions.

It will only cost you £1.50, and that includes your very own certificate.

This might sound vengeful and bitter, and that's because it kind of is, but paradoxically - it's also quite a sweet and generous thing to do.

You see, the campaign is being run by Hemsley Conservation Centre in Kent, UK, and all proceeds will help to fund projects at the zoo.

Remind you of anyone? Credit: PA
Remind you of anyone? Credit: PA

A statement from the zoo said: "For those that don't quite require revenge, there's another way to make you feel better about getting back at your ex this Valentine's Day.

"We are offering the chance to name a cockroach in honour of your worthless ex-'someone' on this special holiday of love.

"We are highlighting these 'bottom of the barrel' creatures through our 'name a cockroach programme' (we think adopt is a little too strong, after all - you probably don't want to adopt your ex) to raise money for our projects at the zoo."

You can also name a cockroach on behalf of a friend - so that might be quite a good gift for a mate that's just been ditched.

Once you've made the £1.50 donation, a name of your choosing will be displayed in the cockroach enclosure.

A Madagascar hissing cockroach. Credit: PA
A Madagascar hissing cockroach. Credit: PA

At that price, it represents an absolute bargain. Just think how good you'll feel next time you're at the pub - drinking alone - and you see them walk past all happy and smiley with their big, hunky, affluent new significant other; it will take all of your restraint to stop yourself heading out there and laughing right in their face.

But you must be the bigger person and resist - instead supping smugly on that lonesome pint, comforted by the knowledge that somewhere on the wall of a cockroach enclosure in Kent, it says 'Meribel Targuin Luna Rafferty'.

MWAHAHAHA!

So what you waiting for? Head to their website to name yours.

Featured Image Credit: PA

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University before going to live in Australia and New Zealand for a few years, where he wrote a travel blog. He has previously written for the Eastern Daily Press, Giggle Beats, CALM and Front Magazine. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

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