Laura Simpson (no relation to Homer, Marge, Lisa or Bart) was on This Morning this morning, and she did not have a very nice morning on the (just give me a second while I check) blue sofa this morning.
Telly power couple Phil n' Holly gave her the grilling of a lifetime, a grilling so severe George Foreman would put his name on it if he wasn't dead (Quick Wiki check: He's not! Boom! Put your name on it, George). Anyway, here's what happened:
Credit: ITV/This Morning
For those living under a rock this part week or so, former England and current Everton striker(ish) Wayne Rooney recently got done for drink driving. It was later revealed that he'd been driving Simpson's car at the time, who was in the car with him, leading to all sorts of tittle-tattle as to what the two were up to. Or planning to get up to, at least.
Having reportedly claimed that she'd kissed Manchester United's record goal scorer, in the studio Simpson offered a different take.
Credit: ITV/This Morning
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Here's how shit went down on the This Morning sofa:
"He's not looking for a new friend," said Holly. "You're in the car with a man that's married. My thing would be that as a female, as a sisterhood, I wouldn't get in the car with a married man.'"
Defending herself, Simpson said if she'd been with a married yet non-famous man, it wouldn't have got into the papers, which is kind of obvious. Holly was having none of this.
"Publicly it wouldn't be an issue but morally it still would be," said the presenter.
Credit: PA
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Whatever went down, it's clear that Wayne Rooney was very stupid and irresponsible for getting behind the wheel drunk, and is lucky to only be getting fined two weeks' wages thus far (admittedly that's quite far north of £300,000/$401,000).
As for Simpson, let's gaze into our crystal ball. Hmm, a short career on ITV reality telly shows awaits, followed by a short career on reality telly shows feigning to be social documentaries, followed by a short and hilarious career on reality telly shows which aren't fooling anyone, with a few front page spreads in 'celeb' goss mags thrown in for good measure.
Good times!
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Words: Ronan O'Shea
Featured Image Credit: ITV/This MorningTopics: This Morning, Wayne Rooney