There are very few things in this world that make me doubt the theory of evolution - almost none, in fact.
But if there was one reason to make me rethink humans' place in this world, it might just be the constant need to put unhealthy 'twists' on already unhealthy foods. It's a sad state of affairs when the biggest threat to the world isn't war, terrorism, or global warming, but the Curly Wurly.
And now a takeaway in Scotland has taken that idea and truly run with it, creating what might very well be one of the most unhealthy foodstuffs in the world - the deep fried Mars bar calzone. That sound you just heard was my arteries closing up in protest
Described as a 'Glaswegian twist', it consists of two deep fried Mars wrapped in an Italian-style calzone, slathered in caramel sauce, and finished off with a scoop of chocolate ice cream and some grated almonds.
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All together it packs in around 2,000 calories - your entire recommended daily allowance.
Locals are reportedly impressed, however, and have apparently taken to calling the creation the 'Mars-gherita Pizza'. Outstanding.
Fraser Walker, manager of Roman's Pizzeria, where it was created, said the idea behind the deep fried Mars Bar calzone came from a simple conversation with the head chef.
The 36-year-old, from Glasgow, said: "Well the shop has been open here for about five and a half months and we wanted to bring out something different.
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"This is because we are known for our Roman-style pizza, and after speaking to the chef about different ideas we came up with that.
"We've seen restaurants adding Nutella in a calzone - we just thought the deep fried Mars bar is a Scottish thing, so why not put it in a calzone?
"It's definitely not a dessert for someone who is on a diet.
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"I would say people should share it because it's very sweet unless you have a sweet tooth or are really hungry."
Fraser partially has Haven Chip Bar, in Aberdeenshire, to thank for his invention as it was there, back in 1992, that the first Mars Bar was dipped in the deep-fat frier.
According to the chippy's head chef, the calzone has been a real hit with customers, with one person even asking a relative to send a pizza to Germany.
Head chef, Dawid Radzinski, said: "I've been a chef for 20 years and what we've done is completely original.
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"When I first made it, we all tried it together and we all loved it. The dessert has been here since Monday and people think it's really tasty.
"I think this was a great idea."
If you feel like making your own calzone and edging closer to death, then here are a full list of ingredients.
INGREDIENTS:
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12" pizza dough = 120 calories
Two deep fried mars bars = 1,200 calories
Caramel sauce 100g = 300 calories
One tablespoon (12.6g) of sugar = 48 calories
A handful of almonds = 162 calories
One scoop of chocolate ice cream = 143 calories
Total = 1,973 calories
Welcome to 2018.
Featured Image Credit: SWNSTopics: Food, UK News, News, Weird