As you may have already noticed, today is Shrove Tuesday. Well, to give it the proper title, today is Pancake Day.
Yes, it's officially the first day before Lent begins for those who believe in Christianity, and that means that we're all gearing up for 40 or so days of solemn abstinence and religious reflection by enjoying some flat dessert cakes with Nutella on them.
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However, not everyone is going for a Nutella pancake. Some people aren't even having a lemon and sugar one with their tea this evening. In fact, one absolute charlatan is boiling everyone's piss on the Internet by telling them he eats tuna on his pancakes.
Yep, that's correct. Someone - perhaps history's greatest monster - is out there making himself pancakes and then filling them up with tinned tuna. The sheer cheek of it all.
Imagine what would happen if the 'Rate My Plate' folks got their hands on this knowledge? It doesn't bear thinking about.
Of course, I'm joking. People can have whatever they like on their pancakes, and tuna isn't so bad, is it? Well, that's what you might think. However, the Internet strongly disagrees.
The man in question, sports commentator and broadcaster Ian 'Moose' Abrahams, has attracted quite a lot of attention for his Twitter overshare. Some people are angry, some people are concerned for his welfare, you get the gist.
One outraged commenter said: "Moose you need locking up for this mate."
Another added: "That's the sort of thing a stoned student would eat. What's for second course? Porridge with cheese spread?"
A third simply said: "Get in the bin."
It's unclear whether that last person wants Abrahams himself to get in the bin, or simply to deposit his tuna pancakes there. Let's hope it's the latter.
Either way, here's to hoping that everyone enjoys their Pancake Day/Shrove Tuesday however they choose to enjoy it.
Traditionally, Shrove Tuesday was a day on which most Christians attended confession to be 'shriven' - that is to say, absolved - of their sins. That meant that they could enter the holy period of Lent cleansed of their indiscretions.
Presumably, eating tuna pancakes would be one of the first things to be confessed.
You might already know about that, but how about the fact that the term 'Mardi Gras' comes from Shrove Tuesday?
Mardi Gras is literally translated as 'Fat Tuesday' and is traditionally a day to gorge on food before the fasting period begins.
As well as that fascinating (or not, whatever) fact, the word 'Carnival' also refers to Pancake Day. You see, it was common practice for Christians to abstain from eating meat during Lent.
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Therefore, literally translated from Latin/Italian, Carnival means 'put away meat' or 'farewell to meat'.
Riveting stuff, I'm sure you'll agree. Impress your family with exciting morsels such as those at dinner this evening.
Just make sure there's no tuna on your pancakes. No amount of confession is going to wash that stench off you.
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