I'm going to write this story backwards, like in the film Memento. There isn't a stunning twist at the end, I just really like this fella's tweet.
So, what's the story? Well, ASDA charged a customer nearly a thousand pounds for one banana. Was it a really good banana? We don't know.
Her seven-year-old daughter did eat it and, as the BBC reports, Bobbie Gordon (the banana purchaser) did instruct her: "You must really enjoy this banana, you must cherish every mouthful."
Whether the young child did indeed savour every mouthful of the fruit is unknown. She may have hated it. It may have been the best herbaceous fruit she has ever consumed. We. Just. Don't. Know.
What we do know is that ASDA made an error, which Gordon's bank recognised when it was revealed the supermarket chain had tried to charge her £930.11 for a banana worth 11 English pence.
Upon being notified of its computing error, ASDA contacted Gordon, asking her to get in touch so the food shopping giants could ensure she hadn't incurred severe, banana-related expense.
Gordon seemed to sum up the situation nicely later in the day, upon noticing that her tale was the most read thing in the UK.
Bananas have a long and often absurd relationship when it comes to news. A myth that the EU had insisted the yellow fruit (actually a herb) could not be 'bendy' did the rounds in the years preceding the EU referendum in 2016, and was often misreported as a singular directive from the trading bloc, even though it concerned various pieces of legislation.
But back to Gordon, who is alive. In a statement to LADbible, ASDA said: "Whoops, looks like we've slipped up here. Whilst our bananas are excellent, even we agree that they are not worth that much and clearly there has been a glitch in our system. We would like to thank Ms Gordon for keeping her eyes peeled and flagging this error to us and we are investigating to ensure it doesn't happen again."
Nice try, ASDA. Leave the puns to Mr. Champion.
Featured Image Credit: Bobbie Gordon