We've all been tempted to do something after being told not to. If you see a 'Do Not Touch' sign on the chippy's hot counter, it would be rude not to give it a cheeky stroke. But this frisky teenager was just downright stupid after he put his penis into a toilet drainpipe which resulted in (what I would expect to be) more embarrassment than the pleasure he was initially hoping for.
There are so many questions here though. First of all, the most obvious - why the hell was he doing this? Secondly, a toilet drainpipe - seriously, dude?!
The bizarre incident happened on 20 May in Johor, Malaysia, when the young lad's member swelled up so much that it became stuck inside the alloy tube.
Imagine the moment when he realised the pipe suddenly felt too tight.
The offending drainpipe. Credit: Viral Press
The teen frantically tried to free himself for over an hour and a half, according to the Mirror. He eventually had to turn to his housemates to help him, which would be utterly mortifying.
The friends then called the emergency services - because who would want to be held responsible their pal's penectomy, eh?
One thing they should have considered before moving on to plan Z is using shower gel as a replacement lubricant. This is not because I've been in a similar situation, by the way, but because it's exactly what one woman did when she became stuck inside a locker.
The saw was used to cut the drainpipe away. Credit: Viral Press
Senior Fire Officer, Seniman Idris, from the Tangkak Fire and Rescue Station, said that the emergency call came through at around 10pm.
He said: "The metal pipe is about six inches in length with a [thickness] of 5 millimetres, and is no longer used. The firemen had to cut the pipe first."
The Mirror reported how the rescuers brought a metal cutting saw with them - oh boy, did they know what they were in for.
The boy was held down as the saw was used. Credit: Viral Press
The pipe was manually cut from the actual wall in the hopes of the boy's penis being freed. Obviously it wasn't going to be that easy though, because it remained wedged inside.
This meant that the team had to remove the entire pipe, which sounds more than just a little bit unnerving. On the video, sparks can be seen flying as the young lad writhes uncomfortably beneath medics.
Doctors from the Sultanah Fatimah Specialist Hospital and firemen finally removed the lad's penis just before midnight. PHEW.
As if this lad hadn't learnt his lesson already, residents were advised to seal off the pipe to prevent the incident from happening again. We highly doubt he's going to make that mistake a second time.
Featured Image Credit: Viral Press