Study Reveals Which Football Fans Are Best And Worst At Sex

We've all been there. It's Saturday afternoon and you're staring blankly at the Premier League table. You're trying to figure out how many points you need to move up a place, whether Man City have already pretty much guaranteed their Champions League spot and if it is worth sticking a fiver on Bournemouth to beat Wolves at Molineux.

Then, next thing you know, you find yourself wondering what the table would look like if points were discarded and the teams were instead ordered in terms of how sexually proficient their fans are.

Well wonder no more, a study has been completed and the league has been modified accordingly. Football Tips asked 3,500 people in the UK what team their best and worst sexual encounters supported.

At the top of the table (but presumably not coming first) are Arsenal fans, who received 11 percent of the vote... Perhaps there is more to that phallic club crescent of theirs?

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The foxy foxes of Leicester came in a close second with 10 percent of the vote, while Brighton claim a sexual Champions League place in third with nine percent of the vote.

Southampton and Liverpool fans, meanwhile, will have to go to sexual goal difference if they are to determine who gets the final sexual Champions League place, having tied with 8 percent of the vote.

At the rock bottom of the table with 13 percent of the vote are Manchester United fans, who seemingly have nothing to cheer about on or off the pitch; presumably long balls are to blame.

PA

Newcastle United fans came in 19th with nine percent, one place higher than their team; a surprising result considering it looks like they're going down.

Cardiff City came out close to the bottom in third last with seven percent of the vote.

The survey also asked participants to disclose who their best partner overall supports. The Seagulls of Brighton soared ahead in this one with 15 percent of the vote; evidently balancing their proven sexual prowess with all round decency.

Southampton fans backed up their sexual performance outside the sheets, securing second with 11 percent. Leicester fans took third with 10 percent, again building on their excellent sex rating.

So if this survey suggests anything, it's that their is a noticeable correlation between how good you are at sex and how highly you are rated as a partner overall.

Dean North, spokesperson for Football Tips, said: "We always find it interesting to find out more about football fans and their personal lives, so we thought this would be an intriguing poll and the results didn't disappoint.

"It would seem that Manchester United fans may need to pay more attention to their sexual partners needs or ask them what it is they could do to improve."

Perhaps fans are taking inspiration from their clubs. At the top of the table, Arsenal - sleek, composed, French. At the bottom, Manchester United - clueless, sloppy and not really up for it.

Topics: Football fans, Football, Sex

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

@jakesmassey