Retro seaside spot Bognor Regis has been named Britain's worst coastal destination, following a survey of nearly 3,000 holidaymakers - with Clacton-on-Sea being saved from the bottom spot by its not-quite-as-shit beach.
The survey was commissioned by consumer group Which? and saw people rate 96 of the country's seaside towns, villages and resorts.
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Poor ol' Bognor Regis, West Sussex, came in last place with a score of just 47 per cent. It was also given a pretty savage rating of one star out of five for value for money, scenery, its seafront and attractions.
Clacton-on-Sea in Essex was given the same 47 per cent ranking, but managed to avoid the bottom spot because its beach was given a three-star rating, unlike the one at Bognor.
Skegness in Lincolnshire, Great Yarmouth in Norfolk and Margate in Kent also didn't fare too well in the survey, all placing in the bottom 10.
But it's not all doom and gloom for British resorts, as the list also doffed a cap to many other destinations - including Bamburgh, in Northumberland, which topped the list with 89 per cent.
Visitors gave the coastal town a full five stars for its value for money, its 'wild, unspoiled beach overlooked by an imposing castle, and its peace and quiet'.
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Second place went to Welsh village Portmeirionin Gwynedd, which is famous for its surreal Italian-style architecture, as well as being the setting for 1960s TV series The Prisoner.
In fact, Welsh resorts scored particularly well, with the five-star beaches of Tenby in Pembrokeshire also among the top 10 - as did Suffolk, with Southwold and Aldeburgh also hitting the higher spots.
St Mawes in Cornwall, Dartmouth in Devon and North Berwick in East Lothian all drew praise, too, having racked up 83 per cent each.
Rory Boland, editor of Which? Travel magazine, said: "These ratings won't make happy reading for some of those destinations many of us remember from childhood breaks of times gone by, which may have failed to keep pace with trendier destinations or those offering a better overall experience for our hard-earned cash.
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"But whether you fancy blowing out the cobwebs in Bamburgh, pottering around in Portmeirion or taking your bucket and spade to St Mawes, it's clear that the great British seaside has something for everyone."
Featured Image Credit: PA