You know there's no hope for the world when Greggs is having to employ bouncers; it's basically one of the signs of the apocalypse.
Several branches of the popular bakers have been forced to employ full-time security to prevent theft and keep an eye on drunken Steak Bake seekers who might want to get mouthy.
One such is outlet is the one near to The Den, Millwall's football stadium in East London. A staff member who worked there said: "Every weekend, there is usually a fight.
"It's a very small store so people try and steal things and we've even had people try and smash the glass.
"Speaking for myself, I'm really glad that he's here to protect myself and staff."
Credit: Triangle News
What kind of moron goes to Greggs for a kick-off? I despair.
Anyway, perhaps unsurprisingly, the burly door-staff have not gone unnoticed, with one Greggs customer tweeting: "The Greggs at South Bermondsey literally has a bouncer today for Leeds away at Millwall."
Well, mate, it's got to be done, apparently. We cannot have nice things, like Greggs.
The chain - Britain's largest baker - has more than 1,700 UK stores, with one in almost every town.
Its headquarters are in Newcastle, and the city's main store also has a bouncer on the door, because you can never be too safe when it comes to protecting baked goods or the noble souls who sell them.
Outlets in Manchester, Nottingham and Derby have all been spotted with security staff on, too.
Some Greggs now open late so drunks can pick up a post-club sausage roll rather than a kebab. Although this is a stupendous idea, you can't help but feel that this lends itself to the odd one or two who can't handle their drink and subsequently cause a scene.
A spokeswoman for Greggs said: "All our shops have robust security systems in place which are reviewed regularly on a shop-by-shop basis.
"Occasionally additional security measures are put in place, including the provision of security guards in shops."
Featured Image Credit: Triangle News