Huddersfield has topped a list of the worst places to live in England this year, courtesy of community website ILiveHere. (For the record, I have no ill feelings towards Huddersfield - or any of the other nine that feature in the top 10, especially given that one of 'em is actually my hometown...)
The tongue-in-cheek poll, which is now in its 12th year, saw 31,191 readers vote for the 'least salubrious dump in this septic isle' to create a 'definitive Top 10 of the worst god-awful hell holes in England 2018'.
After Huddersfield, second and third places went to Rotherham and Liverpool, respectively, with the website's voters referring to the former as a 'worthy nomination'.
ILiveHere told voters: "Let's get down to business of offending local councillors, dignitaries and meddlesome ratbags plus ruining the trade of slime ball lying estate agents.
"It makes our day when they react to the new Top 10, desperately trying to polish a turd of a town."
Dover, which took the top spot last year, has dropped to number 10 for 2018 - apparently because 'nobody wants to live here'.
The website said: "Dropping from last year's No.1 and cherry on top of the s**t town cup cake, is Dover.
"If you have never been there, the name of the town probably conjures up images of the iconic white cliffs.
"The reality is, Dover is one of the biggest dumps in the South East."
Bristol even appeared on the list for the first time. Credit: PA
Bristol, meanwhile, made its first appearance on the list in joint ninth place with Blackburn, with one voter writing: "Beneath the veneer of textbook overdone hipster pretentiousness is the same Bristol of old, where the West Country chavs spew out their own unique interpretation of the English language."
Woah there. That's my hometown you're talking about there, pal.
With Dover and Bristol being the only southern spots to feature, the rest of the list also included Accrington (8th), Hull (7th), Castleford (6th), Blackpool (5th) and Rochdale (4th).
But Huddersfield won out in the end, with ILiveHere explaining: "Huddersfield finished with 50% more votes than Rotherham, thrashing its nearest rival and putting the rest to shame."
Voters described the city as 'boring', with one also writing: "There's nothing but pound shops and a few coffee shops. It's polluted, unclean and full of idiots. It's a horrible place to live."
Jesus, don't hold back.
Another voter decided to also throw out a mention to the capital, saying: "It would never make it on to any of these 'worst places to live' lists, but honestly, I wouldn't live anywhere in London if you paid me and gave me the house for free."
Now, now, children - play nicely...
Featured Image Credit: SWNS