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'D**k Run Claire' Logs Penis Shaped Running Routes And Shares Them Online

'D**k Run Claire' Logs Penis Shaped Running Routes And Shares Them Online

Instagram is awash with pointless drivel. Endless pictures of meals, cats and selfies with bunny filters.

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Mercifully though, 'Dick Run Claire' is sharing something meaningful on the social media platform - namely running routes in the shape of penises.

Like many of the best things in life, it started out as an accident. The 33-year-old from New Jersey went on a run in 2015 while visiting her brother in Kansas City for Thanksgiving (presumably in a bid to make space for all the festive grub).

However, she ended up getting lost while out, and when she checked her running app after finally making it back, she realised she had traced a penis around the streets (though admittedly not a pretty one... come to think of it, can they even be pretty?).

The accidental penis run sparked a new obsession in Claire's life. Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire
The accidental penis run sparked a new obsession in Claire's life. Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire

Now ordinarily, you imagine someone would have a good chuckle about the humorous mishap, before getting on with their life. But not this lady.

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Since then, Claire has made a craft of running different penis shaped routes, wherever she goes. Some long and thin, others stumpy and chode-like.

As she has perfected her craft down the years, she has completed increasingly elaborate cock courses, with some even topped off with pubes and clutching hands.

Claire decided that accidentally penis run would not be her last. Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire
Claire decided that accidentally penis run would not be her last. Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire

Speaking to Vice, she said she had become a 'master' of the art form, and she credits it with motivating her to exercise when she otherwise wouldn't.

She said: "I love looking for dick run routes.

"I feel like I should be on My Strange Addiction now that I've heard how that sounds... But honestly, I just love running: it's my favourite way to get a workout in-and drawing a giant dick across a town is really just a bonus.

"I always plan out the dick runs and follow the route I've saved on my phone.

"It's actually kind of tough-especially the more detailed routes, like the ones with hands-and the worst is when I get caught up in a run, miss a turn, and ruin the drawing. Then I have to go back and do it again later."

Claire's dick pics have helped her to amass over 15,500 Instagram followers, and she said people from across the globe have shared their own efforts with her.

This one is a thing of beauty. Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire
This one is a thing of beauty. Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire

She said: "It's fun planning them and it gets me out there on days that I would otherwise skip a run.

"And you can do it literally anywhere. Obviously city grid systems are easy to come up with a drawing, but the best are the smaller towns and neighbourhoods. All you need is a keen eye.

"When they have some kind of awesome detail, I can't help but think that some town planning committee literally built that dick into their road system.

"Honestly, sometimes they're so detailed and so obvious that I think someone did it on purpose."

I don't know about you, but I think I may have found 'the one'.

Featured Image Credit: Instagram/dick_run_claire

Topics: News, Viral, Funny, US News, Weird

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

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