A man from Cornwall is unable to leave the UK as his name is considered too rude to be printed on a passport.
It's his own fault, too. A few years back, Kenny Kennard decided to change his surname to Fu-Kennard.
Fu-Kennard, get it?
Well, that joke has now backfired because the former squaddie has had his passport application denied three times by the Home Office because it 'may cause offence'.
The supermarket employee from Bude has now realised that his name change, which he thought it was funny at the time, might not have been the smartest move he's ever made.
That said, he doesn't want to change it back. Staycations it is then.
He said: "I'd decided to change my name to Fu-Kennard a few years back.
"When I had to apply for a driving licence, it was accepted fine, so I figured it wouldn't make much difference in applying for a passport.
"How wrong I was.
"I got refused on grounds that my name could cause offence or was vulgar.
"So I complained, but they upheld their decision so I complained again. I was then told they'd keep the fee for administration costs.
"If I wanted to take the matter further, they said I'd need to contact my MP.
"So I wrote to MP Scott Mann, and he replied saying they're within their remit to refuse."
He continued: "Now I'm skint with no passport, like a prisoner in my own country.
"On the one hand, I find the whole thing funny - as do all of my friends.
"But I'm also finding it hard to believe the name could be construed as anything but funny and slightly ridiculous. It's just a joke.
"I agree with Home Office policy that not all names are acceptable, such as racial hate words or anything that invokes hatred.
"'Fu-Kennard' is not offensive, and I object to them denying my chosen name."
This is actually sort of a hobby of Kenny's. When he was 16 he changed his name to 'Coco Kenny' but was told to change it back by the Army when he was aged 19 because it was 'immature'.
After spending eight years in the forces, he left and decided to change again. He says he settled for 'Fu-Kennard' because he had to 'play it a bit safe' when applying for jokes because 'not everyone gets the joke'.
He explained: "Life is too short to be boring."
According to the guidelines for getting a passport set by the Home Office, 'names that may cause outrage' are 'unacceptable' and not fit for a passport.
That includes: "The use of swear words; sexually explicit references; inappropriate religious connotation; is vulgar, offensive, or libellous to an individual; makes use of a name of a person living or dead which may cause public concern.
"This applies to phonetic, as well as actual use of words comprising of part or the entire name."
Oh, and they're keeping his £94.75 application fee 'to cover the costs of admin'.
Whatever the case, Kenny now can't go on holiday unless it's within the UK.
"Without a passport, I can't go on holiday abroad." He added.
"I live in a seaside town, but have always enjoyed travelling.
"My last holiday - to Sri Lanka - was about three years ago. But there are so many countries I'd still like to visit, such as Cambodia.
"I went camping down Sennen Beach last month for my week off. For my next leave, I have no plans as my options are limited.
"I have a stag do in three weeks, for instance. When the best man was deciding what to do for it, he knew I couldn't travel - so he settled on Cardiff instead.
"I don't know what else I can do to escalate the situation with HM Passport Office, because no one has advised me how else I can challenge the verdict.
"I only have one red line, though - I'm keeping my surname.
"I don't want to change it again, especially because they're restricting my freedom.
"I like Fu-Kennard."
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Well, you're going to find it Fu-Kennard to leave Britain for a holiday, then.
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