Every so often I decide to turn vegetarian. At the end of day, as much as I like the taste of bacon and beef and lamb and chicken and duck and pretty much every other animal that you can put inside a burger bun, I can't help but feel the process of murdering them for a few moments of pleasure at the dinner table is fundamentally cruel. And that, given the vast amount of food sold in supermarkets not made up of some formerly sentient being's flesh, it's not really necessary.
But the problem is, each time I do go veggie I find that at some point - maybe a few months, maybe a few weeks into my lifestyle change - I hit a stumbling block. Because, after I've been down my local and knocked back six or seven pints, as much as pizza and falafel and whatever other rabbit food they serve at my local takeaway, is nice. It's not quite a doner kebab, is it?
So I cave. And there I am, at 2:00am, struggling to string a sentence together, with chilli sauce around my chops as I shove dirty kebab meat down my throat.
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Yeah, I admit I'll wake with regrets about the night before, but I know from my repeated failure to make the full conversion to being a herbivore, that I'll almost certainly do it again. So I've reconciled myself with the fact that as much as I can try to make an ethical choices about what I consume - in some things at least - morals can't stunt desire.
And according to a poll of 1789 British vegetarians by the VoucherCodesPro website, I'm not alone. In fact, they've discovered that 37 percent of veggies have eaten meat when they're on the lash.
The survey also asked respondents how often they found them unable to control their urge for flesh. Thirty-four percent admitted to eating meat whenever they got pissed, 26 percent said it happened 'fairly often', and 22 percent said 'rarely'.
Credit: PA Images
As you might imagine from a group known for their open contempt toward those who are complicit in the mass slaughter of animals, 69 percent also admitted that after eating meat they wouldn't tell a single soul what they had done.
So, I guess the take home from this is that next time you're out in a restaurant and that one friend decides to lecture you about their all-grain, gluten and meat free diet, and to warn you of all the evils of the livestock industry, you can look them straight in the eye and remind yourself that, like you, there's a fairly good chance they're going to be tucking into a kebab next weekend.
Featured Image Credit: PA ImagesTopics: Drunk