Man Gets Stabbed Playing Pokémon Go, Continues Playing Like A Savage Bastard

I was never really one for Pokémon as a 10 or 11 year-old lad.

And I'm still yet to get Pokémon Go, so I don't quite understand why, if you got stabbed, you'd still continue on your ventures to catch 'em all and risk dying because you're too in the zone trying to catch a Charmander. By the way, that is pretty much my Pokémon knowledge exhausted (apart from Pikachu, of course).


This guy, however, is a savage bastard.

Michael Baker, 21, from Oregon, was walking around his neighbourhood in the early hours on Monday when a man approached him and stabbed him in the shoulder.
Granted, it wasn't his chest, face, balls or anything else, but you'd still certainly get your sorry arse to the hospital, as well as ringing the police to tell them a crazy fucker is on the loose.

But no, (actually, as I'm writing this, I'm realising that Michael is a pretty big A1 bellend), he decided that continuing to play a game was the best course for him: "Right after I was stabbed, I continued my mission to Plaid Pantry to get chips and beer." As I say, I've not played Pokémon Go so I'm not sure if the chips and beer are literal or metaphorical. In fact, I don't understand that quote at all. I'll rewrite it: 'I'm an obsessed moron and I don't want a girlfriend'.

He also told KPTV that: "I basically risked my life." Bravo.

No Pokémon is worth rising your life over, even if it's a Squirtle. (Someone in the office mentioned this is a decent Pokémon).

After the ordeal, Baker has said that, no matter what, he will catch them all.

I don't doubt his conviction.

Words Patrick Hulbert

Patrick Hulbert

Tottenham Hotspur will win the league.

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