Colin The Caterpillar Cakes Are Now Available In A Gigantic Size

Since 1990, Colin The Caterpillar cakes have been a staple of birthday parties up and down the country, because who doesn't want a terrifying, slightly disturbing looking bug made out of chocolate staring at you with its creepy eyes before you cut it into slices and devour it?

Well, if you are one of those people, you're in luck. Marks & Spencer, the company behind Colin, have made a giant version of him that weighs in at 2kg.

Which, for reference, is just less than the low end of 2.5 kg that's considered a normal weight for a newborn baby. Think about that for a second. Actually, maybe don't.

M&S

A description of this behemoth version of Colin on the Marks & Spencer website reads as follows: "Colin has just got even bigger! A giant chocolate sponge roll filled with chocolate buttercream, covered in milk chocolate with a decorated white chocolate face and sugar coated milk chocolate beans finished with a personalised leaf decoration. Iced with a message of your choice."

It sounds absolutely delicious, to be fair, but that is a hell of a lot of cake. In fact, the website says that Colin - the poor old sod - will feed up to 40 people.

That's a lot of caterpillar. Conveniently, it'll set you back £40, so that's just £1 per person if you manage to get a complete crew together, but then you probably wouldn't get all that much cake.

To be honest, we'd probably just buy the whole thing for ourselves, because we know that once we started eating Colin, one slice just wouldn't be enough.

If, however, you're not as greedy and gluttonous as us, Marks & Spencer are also offering mini packs of Colin The Caterpillars, aka small chocolate coated sponge rolls with a soft centre of chocolate butter cream.

M&S

Those will set you back £12 for a pack of 25. Which doesn't seem like a bad deal, but it's not as good as getting one giant fuck off caterpillar now, is it? Those who'd prefer to eat a female caterpillar can opt for a giant Connie The Caterpillar cake, by the way.

If chocolate isn't your thing, you could instead pick up a bag of Colin The Caterpillar gummy sweets, but if you're getting those and not Percy Pigs, you're probably making a mistake.

So yeah - go large, or go home basically. Will this newest version of Colin set off a nationwide caterpillar cake-eating competition? We definitely hope so.

Topics: Food, Shopping, UK, Cake

Mischa Pearlmen

Mischa is a freelance journalist usually based in either New York or London. He has written for Kerrang!, Record Collector, NME, the New York Observer and FLOOD magazine, among others. Contact him at [email protected]