The other day I was sat at work clicking on tabs at the top of my web browser pretending I was busy when my boss popped up in a Facebook chat.
Numb, I thought he'd been peering over my shoulder watching me not working for the past 40 minutes and was about to give me a passive-aggressive telling off. To my surprise, he sent me a Soundcloud link.
I clicked on the link and it was some electronic orchestral music by someone purporting to be Channel 4 weather man Liam Dutton. My immediate thought was: "Wow, that's the guy who said that mad-ting Welsh place name live on TV and we all went nuts for it!"
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He did. He really did and it's sick, so here it is again...
Credit: Liam Dutton/Channel 4 News
But then the realisation dawned upon me that Liam Dutton is a weatherman, not a composer. He's the kind of guy that likes to press his nose against the window on a stormy day rather than sit by a piano, sip on a hot cup of herbal tea and write soft, emotional, electronic orchestral music.
And to be honest, to add to the fact I didn't think it was real, my boss found the Soundcloud account off a friend of his who is arguably the funniest and craziest person on Facebook. The amount of screenshots of his statuses I get per week distracting me from working is a joke. This was the one about Liam Dutton...
That's just a taster. I wish I could show you my Facebook chat with my boss but we'd be detracting from the point of this article: Channel 4 weather man and Welsh place name extraordinaire Liam Dutton leads a double life no one really knows about, making him the No.1 candidate to be the next James Bond.
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Because after a quick Google and a peruse on his own personal website, it turns out Liam Dutton is a part-time composer and former surdo drum player in a band. Which made me realise that someone out there hasn't gone out of their way to pretend to be a parody C4 weather man-composer hybrid and Liam Dutton actually has everything to be the next 007.
Naturally, the very next thing I did was find his contact email and drop him a message because I simply had to talk to him about it. After clearing it with the C4 press lady, we were all good for a phone call where Liam let me in on his double life.
Credit: Liam Dutton/Channel 4 News
Liam's passion for music actually started when he was around seven years old, writing music in primary school. While his peers learned to play the recorder, Liam was far more interested in the piano.
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"Our head teacher was a superb pianist and I just thought I wanted to play like her too," Liam told me.
After a year of lessons, his piano teacher moved away so he began self-teaching. So good was Liam that he was able to continue playing into his GCSEs, where he also learned to play the trombone. It was during this time that he learned to write his own music.
"This is going back a little, but do you remember the Atari ST?" he asked. I didn't. I just didn't. And the reason for that is because it came out in 1985, six years before I was born. No offence Liam, 35 ain't that old...
An Asari ST
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Anyway, he continued: "It was in the age when computer music was coming into play. The Atari ST was a home computer and it was well known for writing music. You could write and you'd see the notes appear on the screen."
Remember guys, this is the 80s, so that was impressive for back then.
"I played Samba percussion when I was 16. I played one of those big drums you wear around your waist," he added. "It was fun. We played parties and festivals and it was so exciting because the crowd were always going wild. Nothing like Glastonbury but still."
As his teen years came to an end, Liam said an interest in instrumental music for film and TV grew, so when he landed a job at the BBC at the tender age of 22, he asked the sound people there for their advice.
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Just as an aside, at this point in the phone call, my mobile being made of cheese decided to cut out and for some reason Liam didn't notice it had cut off so carried on talking to himself for about three minutes before realising I wasn't there. We chuckled like old friends about it.
He then signed up with PRS for Music, a society of songwriters, composers and music publishers, essentially making sure that if any of your registered work is used for TV or film, you're correctly reimbursed for your work.
For anybody wondering, Liam's work has featured on TV in Japan, Singapore, the UK and the US as well as on Channel 4 show Get Your House in Order and Discovery Channel's Fatal Encounters.
Considering his relative success, he doesn't really have any plans to swap his TV gig with a music one.
"I see it as a hobby as it allows me to relax outside of work. It's a bonus that I get anything extra from it." I wish my hobbies paid man, I really do.
Considering how much he loved playing music, you're probably wondering why he's telling us it's raining again every day for a career. Well, the answer is simple.
"There was really bad snow at school once when I was young and if there was a storm my parents had to drag me away from the window," he said. "I was young, I didn't know why I loved the weather so much."
Credit: Liam Dutton/Channel 4 News
Naturally, if someone is going to pay you to talk about your passion all the time, you're going to do it, hence his career as a weatherman.
But he's not completely closed the door on music:
"I enjoy it [music] so much, I wouldn't want it to become a chore. But equally, if it did take my life in another way, I'd certainly have a long think about it."
Hope I haven't landed you in any trouble with your boss, lad. Doesn't matter, you're basically the no.1 contender to be James Bond now anyway.
And why? Well, Liam looks good in a suit, is calm under pressure (see Welsh place name vid again) and can lead a double life. If that doesn't put him in contention to be the next 007, I don't know what does - they hired George Lazenby for fuck's sake... Tom Hiddles-who?
When asked whether he'd fancy the 007 gig, he said:
"James Bond? That's made me smile! A well-dressed man of mystery who gets to travel the world and use fancy gadgets whilst keeping a lid on top secrets. What's not to like?"
And, if you think I'm being frivolous, Liam's grandmother grew up in the same area of Cardiff as Dame Shirley Bassey, who so famously sang the theme song for Goldfinger, as well as Moonraker and Diamonds Are Forever. Their parents are good friends and Shirley Bassey's mum is Liam's mum's god mother.
THERE'S A FUCKING FAMILY CONNECTION TO BOND TOO!!! Someone get Barbara Broccoli on the phone...
So, next time you're sat watching the weather and wondering what else these people get up to other than gaze at the skies, I want you to think of Liam Dutton, his Soundcloud, his music, his double life and realise your weatherman can be anything they want to be... including James Bond.
Words by George Pavlou
Featured image credit: Liam Dutton/Channel 4 News
Featured Image Credit:Topics: James Bond