When you think of homelessness, you probably picture people shivering in doorways, using heroin and asking people for spare change. However, homelessness is much more than that.
There's something called 'the hidden homeless', which is basically an umbrella term for people who sleep on the floors of their friends' houses, hostels, squatting, sometimes sleeping on the streets, but generally hiding away. Out of sight, out of mind. Right?
Whether it's sofa-surfing or living in university halls with nowhere to go at Christmas and Easter, youth homelessness is a major problem in the United Kingdom.
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However, these people are difficult to isolate. You wouldn't know that they don't know what to put under 'address' when they have to fill in a form. Or about the panic that sets in from their stomachs and manifests in their faces going bright red out of sheer embarrassment.
How do I know all this? Well, I was homeless for a few years and I reckon it's about time we actually spoke to young people who have experienced homelessness. Let's shine a light on those who don't have a voice or who have been disregarded as 'problem children'.
There are so many examples of people treating me with disdain when they found out I didn't have an address. Like the bank worker who laughed at me and said that I must have been a 'real pain' to my parents. Yeah, fuck you. There's loads of reasons why people don't live with their parents. Let's not judge, shall we?
Here's some of their stories...
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Samuel* - "They came after me with a crowbar one time. I would cry in college and have constant arguments when I got back to my friend's house."
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"It was a long, difficult time but basically it all started when I had problems with my stepdad (don't worry, we're good now). At the time I was at my mum's house but I was driven out and had to stay at my friend's house near Castle Donington.
"I continued to go to college in Coalville where I was studying Graphic Design. I would have to catch the bus (there were only two a day) to college and even then I'd be three hours early. So I'd get there for 5am and wait outside for it to open up.
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"Sometimes I'd walk or take my bike which took about three hours. One time I was robbed of my phone and money and I was beaten up by some of the locals. They came after me with a crowbar one time. I would cry in college and have constant arguments when I got back to my friend's house.
"I had to go to an old school friend's house in the same village and ask for a job at 16 so I could afford to eat. That was one of the hardest things I had to do.
"I applied for housing but they needed a parent to sign if [you are aged] under 16 and I wasn't speaking to my parents at this point. So I got housing at a local college board house which was operated from a family home. Everything was great then as I could relax and finally concentrate on my college work but then I came home one night at about 11pm and was told I had ruined their family life, they were getting a divorce and it was, pretty much, all my fault apparently.
"So I called my dad, who didn't know what had happened for the last six months, and let me into his house."
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Liz* - "...a couple let me stay. Eventually they started asking for money but my income support hadn't come through yet so I ended up sleeping with the guy instead of [paying] rent."
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"From the age of 13 I was kicked out of a variety of homes by different relatives due to being a 'difficult' teen. No-one knew that my stepdad was a heavy drinker and used to beat me and mentally abuse me. Even when social services were finally notified they took pity on my stepdad and labelled me difficult. At 16, my stepdad gave my mum a choice - me or him. She took too long to answer so I picked up my already-packed bags (that he had pre-packed while I was in a study session for my GCSEs), and went to my boyfriend's.
"He couldn't let me stay more than a couple of days because he was also sofa surfing. So I ended up spending a few nights getting drunk by the library and sleeping in a little alcove in the wall by McDonald's.
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"I eventually ended up in Wigan where a couple let me stay. Eventually they started asking for money but my income support hadn't come through yet so I ended up sleeping with the guy instead of [paying] rent. Me and my boyfriend had split up by this point due to stress.
"I then had to leave the house and was back to sleeping near the McDonald's or asking friends if I could stay the night.
"Finally, I plucked up the courage to go to the Crisis Centre and ask for help. They said they will phone me when a place became available. This didn't take too long as a room became available about a week after I made contact.
"I ended up living there for nearly two years and was so grateful for their support. Eventually the council offered me a flat and I moved in with my boyfriend and over seven years we have managed to climb out of being on benefits and living in a small flat to being in an eight-year relationship, with a child, having a three-bed house and my partner has a full-time job. After four years of being a full-time mum, I am about to start education again.
"Oh... and... only last year after mending bridges with my mum (for the sake of my daughter), did she finally apologise and admit that 'not wanting a second failed marriage' made her turn a blind eye to things that were going on."
Jessica* - "I was making several suicide attempts a week and, after a very drunken night, prostituted myself."
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"When I had just turned 18 my mum kicked me out. It was very clear I was struggling with anorexia and was in a place, mentally, where I wanted to get worse, not better. For my mother, this must have been agonising to watch, her daughter slowing killing herself. She was as powerless to the disease as I was.
"With two younger brothers in the house she decided enough was enough and told me to leave. That day I packed a case and left with nowhere to go. I rang a guy and lost my virginity an hour later as an act of retaliation.
"I went to stay with a college friend for a while and slept on a mattress on their floor. After a few months things came to a head as my mental health was becoming worse. I was making several suicide attempts a week and, after a very drunken night, prostituted myself. The shame I felt from this led to another suicide attempt and I was sectioned in a mental health hospital.
"After my stay at hospital, my friend would not allow me to go back to her flat. I walked around for as long as possible trying to stay awake. Eventually I slumped in a shop doorway. That morning I went to college and spoke to my lecturers who tried to sort me some accommodation.
"In the meantime, I slept around with anyone who would offer me a place to stay for the night. Shortly after, I got a room at the YMCA and then with ARCH housing where I lived with a heroin addict and then a victim of domestic violence for six months.
"Once my six month tenancy came to an end I was offered a bedsit of my own. My plan to get out of this situation had always been education.
"I came out of college with four A*s and got a place at university... just as I discovered I was pregnant. This pregnancy was a huge milestone in my recovery. I had someone else to think about now and, most of all, I finally felt I had what I had always longed for - unconditional love. Looking back, of course my parents loved me, but I was a confused teenager and I didn't feel that way. University was delayed but I attended when my baby was 18 months until he was three-years-old and left with a first class BA honours.
"Recently, I've had my second baby boy, and although a single mother, I am working in a high school and have my own private rented property.
"Who helped me? Countless people - my mentor at college, Connexions, my college lecturers, the YMCA staff, Staff at ARCH, but mostly, myself. Yes, I helped myself, because in the end, you are your most powerful tool and bad situations don't have to be permanent."
Sarah* - "I soon realised I wasn't actually her housemate, I was just paying her as much money as I could spare to sleep on a mattress in her kitchen."
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I was living in London and the franchise I was working full-time for got shut down. They ran out of money and couldn't afford to keep the branch open. I was living with my mum at the time, and she didn't have enough money to support me if I was unemployed so my only options were to move out or go on the dole. There was no way I could move out and get my own place in London, as even the prices of a shoe box there are insane.
"I'd already been on the dole and despised every second of it, so this wasn't an option [for me]. I was told by a friend, who lived in a different city, that she was looking for a potential flatmate in her new apartment and she could barely afford rent on her own, so I moved from London to live with her.
"I soon found I couldn't afford to pay her rent as the city was too expensive and the only job I could get with a degree was a part-time bar job. So I soon realised I wasn't actually her housemate, I was just paying her as much money as I could spare whenever I could to sleep on a mattress in her kitchen. The cheaper apartment she also promised we'd soon both move into together became an idea that never came to fruition and I carried on sleeping on the mattress instead.
"This went on for a few months as I struggled to find a decent paying job, all the while constantly having emotional breakdowns from not being able to afford to live and constantly being afraid of having nowhere to go if I left.
"Eventually, she randomly decided to kick me out of the flat to make room for her boyfriend, and I had nowhere to go except move in with my (now) ex-boyfriend. It took me a while after that to get back on my feet, and I still struggle with money, but I'm finally comfortably living in my own place and don't have to worry about sleeping on mattresses anymore."
Ben* - "I ended up having total blackouts and wandering the streets, all while I had a perfectly nice life and a child at home."
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"I've been suffering with alcoholism for around 20-odd years. At one point, the situation began to spiral. I wanted to drink the way I liked and used to sit round the back of shops and in old buildings alone. I ended up having total blackouts and wandering the streets, all while I had a perfectly nice life and a child at home.
"Towards the end of my drinking, I used to self-harm. I left my family home to get sober, but continued drinking. Eventually I walked out of my job because I was drunk on site.
"I had no job and no home so I would wander around in a blackout. I returned to where I was as a child, eventually asking to go to my mum and dad's home. Once again, I tried to get sober but, once again, continued to drink.
"Eventually I registered myself as homeless and joined AA. Now I've been sober for five months. I've got a home and my son lives with me. I feel I was helped a lot but I had to ask for it. People were helpful but someone with my frame of mind really could have done with someone to help me through the whole process of finding a home.
"I knew nothing about the system and spent more time on the phone going backwards and forwards. Today, I'm in a good place and I'm grateful for what I have."
Suzy* - "I was coping with my sister potentially dying of cancer and my other sister (with borderline personality disorder) constantly coming to me for help with suicidal thoughts when I was barely coping with life myself."
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"My degree was coming to an end, meaning social services would no longer be paying for my accommodation and I would need to find somewhere. I couldn't return to my foster home, my dad died in my first year and my mum is miles away. She's paying off a lot of bills so can never afford to visit me or call (she can only speak if I call her), so I didn't know what to do.
"The social worker I had been assigned to help with this transition was pretty useless and was hardly helping me with it all. She kept mentioning that she wanted to close my case and how she had other young people on her workload to deal with so she'd been busy so she basically just couldn't wait to get me out of the system. I took it all into my own hands since she seemed like she would quite happily let me end up on the streets.
"I started contacting the council and looking at shared accommodation. I wasn't getting very far with the council as they took ages to reply to any emails and the signal over the phone was always bad so we'd end up having to end the call. When they finally did reply they told me there would be a long waiting list and a high demand so it would be difficult to find a place within the time I had left. I was coping with my sister potentially dying of cancer and my other sister (with borderline personality disorder) constantly coming to me for help with suicidal thoughts when I was barely coping with life myself. It was incredibly difficult."
"At this point, I turned to the very first friend I made at university, who has always been there and always seems to know what to do. Once again, she didn't let me down. She suggested the YMCA. I'd not considered it and didn't really know it existed but after looking it up online and booking a meeting with them, I was moved in and everything was sorted within a week. I think it all came down to timing and being lucky enough to have these friends I made at university. [Without them, I] honestly have no idea where I would be right now."
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The sad fact is, stories like these are set to get more common. Welfare cuts mean that there are fewer services available for young people who have nowhere to go. Luckily, everyone I spoke to for this piece has managed to get themselves out of extremely difficult situations. But it's not always that easy.
Shelter's director of policy, Roger Harding, said: "Every day at Shelter we speak to young people unable to stay with their parents who've been forced to sofa-surf, or worse put up with dangerous or abusive situations just to keep a roof over their head. And sadly it's going to become harder for us to help, as the situation is set to get worse.
"Homeless young people are paying the highest price for welfare cuts and our desperate shortage of genuinely affordable homes - and controversial plans to scrap housing benefit for 18-21 year olds - would further strip away their already threadbare support.
"The new government now has the opportunity to turn things around by making sure enough support is available for young people when they fall on hard times, and by building the affordable housing we so desperately need. And we'd urge anyone struggling with housing to come to Shelter for free, expert support and advice."
Whatever your situation, you're not alone. Let's talk about it. Shelter wants to help. Visit http://www.shelter.org.uk/ initially, or if your problem is urgent call the helpline on 0808 800 4444 or drop into one of their face-to-face services.
Featured image credit: Raul Merino
Topics: Homelessness, Homeless