I think I probably throw around the word 'hero' far too much, but not here, not now, because this guy ate just shy of 11,500 delicious calories of Greggs' finest baked goods in a single sitting and lived to tell the tale.
'Professional eater' Adam Moran went apeshit in a branch of the UK's largest bakery chain and ordered over 30 items, which he filmed himself eating. This man is living my dream.
Adam set himself the 'Greggs Challenge' for his YouTube channel 'Beard Meets Food', and managed to scoff the lot in under 30 minutes. Impressive.
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Credit: Caters
You can't see me, but I'm doing a standing ovation at my desk right now. I'm also really hungry and contemplating a trip to Greggs.
Adam's wonderful meal contained an impressive 11,449 calories, 284 grams of protein, 1,229g of carbs and a whopping 603g of fat - but what were you expecting?
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Thirty-two-year old Adam said: "It was a piece of cake, as in literally: some of the items were pieces of cake. But then again I do this for a living, so the challenge was easier for me.
Credit: Caters
"I really wouldn't encourage anyone else to try and eat this much pastry ever.
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"The technique is to chew very little, but really it's all about practice and working up to this level of stomach capacity over time.
"Everything I ordered came to just under £40."
He obviously saved the sweet pastries until the end, because he's not a bloody animal. Credit: Caters
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Adam ate, among other things, a cheese and steak roll, sausage and bean melt, meat pasty, steak bake, two sausage rolls, two slices of pizza, eight doughnuts, two Bavarian slices, egg custard, Indian slice, iced bun and two yum yums. All for less than 40 quid?
Fucking bargain, that. Anyone else thinking of giving this a shot?
Each and every calorie counted. Credit: Caters
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Fantastic work. How's he going to top that?
Topics: Greggs