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A man has received a bizarre letter accusing him of stealing £36 ($50.97) worth of KFC.
Ian Dickman was at home in Blackpool, UK, on Wednesday (9 June) when someone posted the letter, which charged him with eating their takeaway.
Clearly livid, the letter's author branded Ian a 'greedy little gremlin'.
The weird but undeniably amusing missive read: "I know you have just tucked into a succulent KFC which to belong to me [sic]. I ordered it to your address accidently.
"I thought I had faith in humanity, but BOY WAS I WRONG!
"You took my KFC into your GOB with no remorse! Any decent person would of not of [sic] accepted it. But you are just a greedy little gremlin.
"Thank you for being a tight a***. P.S. You owe me £36."
Wow, there's a lot to unpack there.
Ian has no idea who posted the letter, but admitted that a KFC delivery driver did knock on his door. However, he said he sent them on their way and has the CCTV footage to prove he didn't eat the 'succulent KFC'.
Taking to social media, Ian said: "To the person that has put this through my letter box, you should have had the decency to knock and find out the truth.
"We are not the idiot who ordered his/her takeaway and could not remember their own address.
"Yes they knocked but were clearly told it was not ours and the two took it away in a silver car.
"There is CCTV across the street, if you would like to add to your embarrassment we would be happy to get it.
"So we owe you nothing."
That all seems pretty fair - who the hell would write that letter before even knocking on? Also, who the hell spends £36 on KFC?
There's a lot of unanswered questions at this point, but one thing we know for sure is that Ian ain't coughing up for the vanished chicken.
The disgruntled KFC orderer will no doubt be gutted to have missed the opportunity to win a year's supply of free chicken, with the fast food chain launching a search for a 'Superfan' back in May.
KFC said: "We're looking to honour those who have gone above and beyond to prove they are devoted to all things fried chicken. From a chicken-themed stag do and a Colonel tattoo, to scouring the globe for every KFC and a sonnet to all things fried chicken - last year's entries were legendary.
"So, if you have made a sacrifice, compromise, or commitment all in the name of the Colonel, we want to hear from you."
Too bad applications closed last month, because that letter embodies devotion to fried chicken and commitment in the name of the Colonel.
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